The reason for my newfound pedaling mania- I've been training for the Hazon New York Bike Ride, which will take place over Labor Day Weekend. Over two days, I will ride 100 miles and for the week afterwards, I will be unable to sit. The purpose of the ride (and my pain)- to raise money for Hazon and the programs it supports. Hazon is a great organization that raises money for environmental initiatives and education in the Jewish community in the U.S. and Israel. It also gets typically sedentary Jews to move around.
In honor of the event and my foray into the world of wheels, I've parodied a song. The lyrics are below:
I'm On A Bike (inspired by I'm On A Boat, by Andy Samberg and Co. )
I’m on a bike, I’m on a bike
Everybody look at me
Cause I’m pedaling on a bike.
I’m on a bike, I’m on a bike
Everybody take a good hard look
At the motherfucking bike.
I’m on a bike motherfucker, take a good look at me,
Pushing uphill, other riders weaving right round me.
Busting 5 M.P.H, think I’m gonna fall but psych-
You can’t stop me motherfucker cause I’m on a bike!
Take a picture trick, I’m on a bike son,
Drinking water from my camel back under the blazing sun.
I got my spandex shorts with extra padding under my tushy,
You just sitting on the grass, backside getting mushy.
I’m on a hybrid, flipping over my handlebars,
But don’t worry cause that scrape shouldn’t leave a big scar.
There ain’t no training wheels, this is as ill as it gets,
I’m on a bike motherfucker, don’t you ever forget.
I’m on a bike and it’s going fast down,
Bloomberg’s green lanes all ‘round town.
Like Ed Begley Jr, my carbon footprint's tiny,
If you in a car, then you makin' Earth grimey.
Get the fuck up, this bike is real!
Hey ma, if you can see me now
One hand off so I can scratch my nose, wow!
Gonna ride this bike to the moon somehow.
With the help of steroids, anything is possible!
Never though I'd be on a bike,
Not something I thought I'd like,
Lance Armstrong, look at me!
Never thought I'd see the day,
That I'd be two wheeling away,
Believe me when I say- I biked 100 miles!
To make a donation, please go to my personal page: http://hazon.kintera.org/
If you prefer to donate offline, please make your check out to Hazon and mail it to Hazon 45 West 36th Street, 8th floor, NYC, NY 10018. Please be sure to write my name, Dvora Meyers, in the memo section of the check and let me know when you send it so I can keep an eye out! You will get an acknowledgment letter from Hazon for tax purposes.
Also, there will be a contest to see who has the most original/humorous "Donation in honor/memory of" line . Right now, Avi M. has a clear lead over the field with his hilarious (if morbid) "In memory of Dvora's collarbone." Let's see if anyone can top that. Prize is still TBD.
Thank you so much for your support!
