My high school and the Israeli army find common ground

An article in the International Herald Tribune reports that the Israeli army has contracted 7 private investigative firms to spy on women who claim to be religious in order to avoid army service. In Israel, the draft is mandatory for both men and women though females who claim to be very religiously observant are given a pass since Jewish law does not permit them to serve.

Well, army officials, noticing an uptick in such claims of piety and modesty, have used these PIs to search for breach of religious law- such as kissing men, wearing skimpy clothing and riding in an elevator on the Sabbath.

The army's campaign became public this month when grainy footage was leaked to the Israeli media showing a young woman in a tight shirt appearing to kiss a young man — something no religious, unmarried female would do in public.

Now I don't know how much the army is paying these firms but I bet you they could save a whole lot of money if they hired some of my former Brooklyn neighbors, who performed the same service for free. Back in elementary and high school, we all knew that if we wore pants around our neighborhood or talked to boys, we did so at our own risk. You never knew when you'd bump into a "concerned citizen" who'd report your sluttiness back to your principal.

This never happened to me since I was nauseatingly obedient, but friends of mine were reported to the Committee of Actions Not Befitting a Bas Yisroel. (Sort of like the House Un-American Activities Committee, except instead of concerning themselves with the color of your shirt- Commie Red or Liberal Pink- they agonized over its tightness and the depth of its neckline.)