Back when I was in the fifth grade, my Hebrew teacher approached my desk and slammed her hands down on it. "Please stop it," she practically yelled. I looked up at her annoyed expression, which was framed stiffly by her wig and stopped twiddling my fingers.
I had been doing Shannon Miller's bar routine with my hands, using the thumb and pointer of my right hand as the low and high bars, respectively. The fingers of my left were Shannon Miller's body and I swung them around the "bars."
I encountered certain problems with performing Shannon Miller's routines, namely that I could not do double somersaults off my top finger/rail, certain anatomical limitations (such as a wrist that couldn't bend all the way backwards lest it snap), but all in all, I think my "routines" would've warranted a good score.
Later as I walked past Mrs. Katz's desk on my way out of the classroom, she stopped me again. "Maybe you should take piano lessons," she suggested, "since you're so nimble with your fingers." I thanked her but shook my head.
Piano, I internally scoffed. Couldn't she I was in training for the 1996 Olympics?
Take a peek for yourself. In this clip below, I dramatically reenact Miller's routine and my fifth grade obsession.
The commentary is ripped from Tim Daggett's playbook- the remarks about Miller's form, "her" combo on the high bar, and the annoying comment about sticking the dismount. Even as a fifth grader (or an adult), I couldn't be so grating without outside help.
4 comments:
awesome! your fingers could use a sparkly leotard. magic marker?
Good idea. Perhaps I'll do that when I video Shannon Miller's beam routine. Would you like to be the director of photography on that one?
really?! this is what you're doing at 3:37 in the morning?!
Hilarious!
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