For the past few days I've been in the Pacific Nortwest for the first time, staying on Bainbridge Island, which is reachable by ferry. When I think of ferries, I think of Staten Island, and how the best part of SI is the ferry. I can't remember the last time I've set my foot on solid, well landfilled SI ground.Thankully, Bainbridge is a whole lot better than Staten Island. To my knowledge, it's never been used as a garbage dump. And autumn is a great time to visit. The leaves have turned colors, just like my hair.
Anyway, here are a few of the things I've learned while in town.
1. Not all coffee is great in this town. I thought that I could wander into any small, independent coffee shop and get a great Americano. But I've had a few bad ones (or at least as good as the ones in Starbucks). Thankfully, I've also had a few outstanding ones.
2. Speaking of coffee, there's a glam hip hop group called Fresh Espresso. I am being completely serious.
3. It has a great little sex toy shop in Capitol Hill called Babeland. I was tempted to purchase one of their reusable tote bag that had the name emblazoned across it, but then I thought, Would I really use it to carry my groceries home?
4. And finally, some new terminology. I must thank the guy at the Crumpet Shop near Pike's Place Market for teaching me these words. In the grand tradition of Guy Love from Scrubs and bromance, there is Brotox, which is a heterosexually acceptable type of referring to the poison some inject into their faces in order to deaden the muscles. (I've only had it injected into my soul. It's worked out for me though the maintenance can be a bitch.)
Dude, I'm having problems hitting on the high school seniors cause of all the crow's feet I got around my eyes. I need some Brotox.
Okay, that was two sentences. Sue me.
The other term the Crumpet Shopper taught me was Broner. He didn't fully explain it to me since he had to go back to work (the shop is apparently a family business) but I figure it's an erection achieved in the presence of one's male friends, but completely straight.
Right.
Feel free to put it into a sentence(s) for me.
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4 comments:
There are Babelands in NYC too. That said, I totally envy you. I am due a good Pacific Northwest trip.
There's a Babeland on the Lower East Side. And Bainbridge is not Seattle, though it is a suburb. That said, glad you enjoyed your vacation in my home region!
But except for the stuff about trees, most of the lessons were from Seattle.
And there's something fun/anonymous about going to a sex toy shop when you're not in your hometown. Of course the anonymity only works if you don't blog about it.
Babeland on the Lower East Side is a very friendly and low-pressure place. I recommend it.
Also, now that I think about it, I'd have to say I've encountered at least two broners in my admittedly limited experience. Both in Israel, actually.
In the first case, I was staying at a friend's house in Jerusalem and his dad woke us up for shul. I rolled out of bed and hit the bathroom, and then, as I was exiting, my friend got out of bed, with a serious tent in his pajama pants. "Woah! Watch where you're pointing that thing!" I cried. He mumbled something about morning wood and proceeded to the loo. But I guess that's a broner, right?
Second time was in my yeshiva dorm. I and a few other guys were playing cards, and one of the roommates had just come out of the shower, wrapped in a towel. He took off the towel to put on underwear, but it was hard not to notice his arousal. Why would he be aroused? The rest of us were clothed and not even looking his way. Once again, broner. Only in this case, nobody said anything.
Happily, I've never encountered a broner of any sort in the mikva, so far. :)
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