Christian man searching for quasi-Jewish wife

This flyer was plastered all over the North Hollywood/Valley Village area of Los Angeles, which has a sizable Orthodox Jewish population during the summer of 2009.

Talk about being picky!


There are so many things to love about this flyer. First, there is the use of quotes at the top. "Catholic." I'm not sure what he's getting at. Does he doubt the existence or legitimacy of Catholicism as a real Christian denomination the same way that some ultra-Orthodox Jews looks askance at Reform "Jews"? There's also the "Jehovah's False Witness." I suppose that's fair. A lot of the research on eyewitness testimony and statements shows how unreliable it can be. But I would very like to know what exactly falls into the "etc." category?

In addition to the very specific religious requirements, there are physical requirements because as we well know, Jesus cared as much for outer beauty as he did for inner. This man is seeking average height to almost tall (no shorties need apply!) and dark (but not too dark) complexion.

A little further down, he lists his other preferences though these are not absolute musts. After all, he sounds like a reasonable man. He would like a Hebrew speaker and even specifies the accent (Yeminite, not Eastern European). And he would like her to be descended from Jews on her father side. I mean, I know so many Yeminite Christians who are Jewish patrilineally. Like loads. (One little side note- Why does he even care about patrilineal descent? I always thought Christianity was a religion of believers. I thought Christians left the blood purity nonsense to the Rabbanut in Israel and Harry Potter books.)

If you somehow meet his demands, it's still up to him to ascertain whether or not you are actually a Christian. (He's like the British Supreme Court but for Gentiles!). He writes, "If you care about the gospel, please contact me to see if we are both really Christians."

If this young man hasn't found his bashert (and I can't imagine why he wouldn't be able to find a woman who meets his exact specifications), he can always try a local shadchan (matchmaker). Or JDate. But don't go hitting up my profile. I don't fit the bill. Though I am 5'4", I speak Hebrew with an Ashkenazis lilt.

(Special thanks goes to Michal S. for directing me to this photo and to Joseph Gallucci for furnishing the picture.)