Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Shidduch Crisis Solved?

As I have noted in a previous post, most of the response to my denim skirt slideshow has been very positive and fun for me to read. And even some of the negative response has been rather humorous. Like this post I came across yesterday on Beyond BT called, "The Ascent to Haute Boro Park." This piece was written as an open letter to the wonderful Life and Religion editor at Tablet, Ellen Umansky in response to my own item. (Which the author failed to link to, perhaps out of a desire to keep my pernicious influence away from their heimishe readers.) Of course, I will link to Anxious Ima's post because I want you to be able to read the silliness for yourself. This is how it begins:

Dear Ms.Umansky,

If you can run an entire piece plus a slide show on Dvora Meyer’s evolution (devolution?) from jeanskirt wearing into jeans, than I’d like to propose the opposite side.

Of course, Anxious Ima doesn't know how to write a proper pitch letter, doesn't suggest how she would tell her story of skirt wearing, or why it would be interesting to Tablet readers.

She then offers me some sage advice that I really rather like:

Maybe this part of the story will be of interest to Meyers. Fed up with the prospects of a permanently single life–that’s how it seemed to be heading, Prince Charming was off my radar, I headed off to Israel in hopes of finding my bashert. And of course, I ditched my pants, You can’t show up at a shadchan’s office in khaki’s.

So that's why I'm single -- pants. It makes sense if you think about it. Pants signal unavailability to men because they're so much harder to fiddle around with. Skirts are simpler. And you know what they say -- the longer the skirt, the faster it goes up. Maybe I will switch back to skirts. And perhaps this advice will end the so-called marriage crisis in the Jewish world. Ladies, just don skirts. It's like hanging a "OPEN" placard round your neck, letting the fellas know you're ready and waiting...for a ring. (Or perhaps she was advising me to move to Israel where I can have my veritable pick of Jewish men. I've given that some thought in the past but decided that the experience would be much like watching cable television -- 200 channels and still, there's nothing on.)

Anxious Ima (and why so anxious -- is your daughter 22 and unmarried?) signs off with a plea to the Powers That Be over at Tablet to "show fealty to authentic Jewish culture." (Emphasis mine.) First of all, I want to point out that they have given space to the Orthodox viewpoint in the past, even allowing Avi Shafran of the Agudah to write an op-ed about the poor, oppressed, haredi Jews. And don't the "authentic" Jews have publications in which to read their viewpoints parroted back at them? What about The Jewish Press (or as my late zaidie jokingly called it -- The Jewish Mess)? Mishpachah? When was the last time the "fake" Jews got to have their say in those publications?

Maybe I should start pitching them and see if they'll take my next story about a Jewish girl gone wrong.

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