Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Summer Responds

A few days ago, I tried unsuccessfully to mimic the Onion's fake news article style with my accusations that the weather is anti-Semitic. Well, today the weather in the guise of "Summer" has its say in the Onion. Summer comes off not so much anti-Semitic as pervy.

Don't be modest. I can see you're wearing a tank top under there, so why don't you go ahead and take off that bulky shirt of yours? Come on, it's natural. Nobody's looking over here anyway. It's just you and me. Other than heatstroke, dehydration, and certain types of skin cancers, you're safe with me, baby. So just relax.

That's it. That's real nice. Just peel that thing right off. Do it slowly. Can you feel me against your body? Feels good, doesn't it? The heat. A pretty little thing like you shouldn't be hiding your body. And by the looks of those tan arms and shoulders, I can tell you've done this before, so why hold back now? That's right, just like that. Why don't you lie down in that chair and let me take a good look at you?

Summer is taking a direct approach similar to the one used in The Donnas video for Take It Off, which I cannot seem to embed but here is the link to the music video. What ever happened to the Donnas anyway?

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