Friday, March 9, 2012

The knee is a prototype

This past Saturday night, I put on my leopard print drop crotch pants (like I always do) and went out to a friend's birthday party where I proceeded to get funky. At some point during the night I got down into a split because the music called me to do that. Once resting, crotch first, on the floor, I started to bounce to the beat in the split, moving slowly away from my point of origin, much to the enjoyment of everyone else  present. However when I finished and stood up, I rolled up my pant leg and checked on my knee and there it was--a bump and incipient bruise. I went directly to the kitchen and made a small baggie of ice which I put on my knee. Cause there is nothing sexier than being at a party and icing a joint. I'm so shocked I didn't go home with anyone that night.

Saturday night was not the first time this knee (or the other) has given me trouble. It started back in college when I took an unfortunate fall while ice skating and was made worse by practicing gymnastics. When I finished college, I had to have my knee scoped. My surgeon informed me that I had very little cartilage left and the prescribed six weeks of physical therapy.

It's been nearly ten years since I've had that surgery and though the surgery improved my mobility and pain from what it had been, no matter what I did, the knee never reverted to its pre-injury state. This same sentiment has been echoed by Shawn Johnson recently when discussing her own recovery from a much worse injury (torn meniscus, MCL and ACL) and many of my friends. It seems like every active person I know has some trouble with their knees.

Which leads me to conclude, that no matter how wondrous the human body is, some parts work better than others and for longer periods of time, and the knee is perhaps the most flawed of them all. It's like the thing was never even beta tested by God or the Great Spirit or Mr. Big Bang. It's like He/She/It never looked into a crystal ball and predicted that someday humans would start doing sports and would need stronger ACL for better lateral control. The knees we've all received are clearly prototypes that somehow stuck.

The knee, clearly, never went through a beta testing period. Or maybe this is the beta testing period and once the Almighty is done figuring it out, He'll/She'll wipe us out and create a superior race who never know the pain of an ACL reconstruction and never complain about walking up and down the stairs.

I mean, isn't that the point of global warming? Destroy life on the earth and in order to replace us with folks possessed of the next generation in knee technology?


Unknown said...
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Robert said...

Yes joints can be tricky, wrists are my weakness. But I've found that with a sufficient warmup and consistent stretching these weaknesses can be overcome. See for an example of how that has helped me with my wrists.