Unorthodox Gymnastics

Unqualified?

2012-01-27T10:26:00.000-05:00

Oh Israel, you're even more frustrating than I originally realized. And I'm not talking about gender segregation this time.

Two of their athletes--Felix Aronovich and Valeria Maksyuta--earned berths to the 2012 Olympics at the recent test event in London, but they shouldn't start packing their bags just yet. If they want to use the ticket they earned in London, they will have to place top 12 all around or top 6 at the upcoming European Championships. While this should not prove too difficult for Maksyuta, who is a known commodity at this point on the international competition circuit, Aronovich, presently a student-athlete at Penn State, has much less experience and may not make the cut. But then again--hasn't he already made the cut by qualifying at the test event?

Now why would Israel, who aside from Shatilov (who already qualified to the Games when he won the bronze medal on floor at the world championships) deny their athletes opportunities to gain experience at an Olympic Games when FIG, the governing body of the sport, has given them the green light? Israel is not known for its gymnasts. And gymnastics is a judged sport--so the more Israeli athletes get out there and compete and improve their rankings, the more success the program will have down the line. It's what we call laying the foundation for the future. While Aronovich wouldn't medal in London, he can improve his international rankings, which should help him out in the coming years and Israeli gymnastics as a whole.

(Source: Gym Examiner)

If only there weren't an age minimum

2012-01-20T16:24:00.000-05:00

Her coaches might try to pass her off as 16...

(via Pleated Jeans)

A Genesis inspired explanation of dating and relationships

2012-01-20T14:39:00.000-05:00

Over at The Anti-Girlfriend today, I put up a post explaining my dating and relationship behavior as it pertains to the creation of Eve--the whole taking a bit about how God took a bit of Adam's rib and fashioned him a wife from it.

I write about how I have subverted (what else would you expect--I'm not the type to support the patriarchal status quo) this story by being surgically "fixed" by using part of my own rib. Creation upended!

If one takes the lesson of the rib story and the way it was taught to me to its logical extreme, you would get men saying something along the lines of this--"Excuse me beautiful woman, but do you have a part of my rib?"...Anyway, back to the rib line--not only is it serial killer creepy, it kind of turns the search for a soul mate into a matter of orthopedic urgency. That makes two I know a lot about--futile searching for a boyfriend and orthopedic surgery.

You can read the rest here.

But you don't look Jewish

2012-01-11T15:07:00.000-05:00

Yet another video in the series in "Shit ___ Say" series, this time for Jews!

In the "Shit Christians say to Jews,"Allison Pearlman explores the questions one fields from non-Jews about Judaism and culture.

While I've NEVER gotten, "But you don't look Jewish," I have often been asked, "Are you from Israel?"

Judaica flow

2012-01-10T16:12:00.000-05:00

I've often accused the Jews of trying to make everything Semitic--hip hop, sports and now, maxi pads.

Thanks to Eli V. and the Judaican't tumblr, I now know about the Hanukkah gift I never knew I wanted but must have, even belatedly.

For six dollars on Etsy (where else?), you can purchase a reusable cloth maxi pad decorated with menorahs and well wishes for the holiday. A small price to pay for environmental sustainability and Jewish pride in your underwear.

Before you start asking the obvious, "Why?" ask instead, "Why not?"

Why shouldn't your maxi pads be decorated? We put ducks and cartoon characters on the outside of baby's disposable diapers. Why shouldn't ladies and moon goddesses be able to bleed all over religious symbols? God knows, the religion has taken many dumps, historically, on us. Fair is fair.

Less and less

2012-01-07T20:37:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking less and less about Judaism these days. Though I often joke (on and off camera) that I see the world through "Jew colored glasses" and probably always will, the degree to which this presently happens has greatly decreased over the past year. More and more of my writing ideas have little to do with matters of religious law and faith and I consider Judaism less when making decisions about the rest of my life. (Perhaps this is not a great thing to admit publicly since I still frequently write for Jewish publications--Dear editors, I still have pitches for you! This post is all lies!)

During the first couple of years that I ceased to be Orthodox, I thought about Judaism constantly. I wondered if I would ever return to a greater level of observance. I was often negotiating with Jewish law--how do I feel about driving on Shabbos? How about flying or using money? I was in a constant conversation with tradition and text despite observing the rules less and less.

But now that I feel settled in what I do and how I do it, now that I'm figuring things out less, I don't analyze the religion and tradition as much. Judaism, for better or worse, has become more of a part-time activity. I'm a weekend Jew. And I'm pretty happy about it. My circle of friends has greatly expanded as have my range of experiences (perhaps the reason for my non-Jewish ideas). It all feels like a natural part of my life's trajectory.

During this process I've noticed that others that come from a similar background and have made the move away cling, if not to their observance, then to their old social circles and orders. They seem to hang out mostly with others who have left the community, in whole or part.

Obviously, each in his or her own time, but part of me always felt that this defeats the purpose of leaving the insularity. While I understand the desire to be around people who really understand what you're going through and understand how destabilized and uprooted you may feel at times (especially if you were like me and never truly thought that this would be the route you would be taking), I still believe that it is imperative to get out there and find friends and a social network that doesn't seem to be based on where you came from. When I'm in those social settings, I frequently find myself talking about how my life used to be, not where it's going.

Beware of the second leg

2011-12-28T14:03:00.000-05:00

I am not a huge cat lover. Once I was cornered, b-horror movie style, by my friend's cat who wouldn't let me out of the guest bedroom. I slammed the door shut and the cretin actually stuck his paws through the crack under the door to get at me. I ended up escaping by wrapping myself in a rug in order to walk past the thing without getting clawed.

Perhaps it is because of my past with kitties that I found this gif of a kid doing a cartwheel while a cat tries to attack so amusing.

Cats (and humans) be warned--when it comes to the cartwheel it's the sneaky second leg that's deadly.

A ritual spice

2011-12-26T00:12:00.000-05:00

Last night, I rang in Christmas with friends the way only Jews can--by saying Havdallah and lighting the Hanukkah candles.

As we got to the part of the Havdallah where we smell the besamim, or spices, I absentmindedly sniffed the spices my friend put under my nose and took a whiff of something very familiar--marijuana.

Legends and rabbis have it that on the Sabbath, we are blessed with an additional "neshama" or soul that departs when Shabbos ends. This is why we sniff some spices during the Havdallah ceremony, which closes out the day of rest--to revive or restore the person after his additional soul leaves. Besamim are like smelling salts.

Which brings me to weed. It was quite fitting to smell the marijuana as the Sabbath Queen departed. What else lifts the spirits quite like weed?

And now I've desecrated Hanukkah, too

2011-12-23T14:17:00.000-05:00

And now for a little cross-promo.

Over at my (deliciously) wicked step-sister site, The Anti-Girlfriend, I've put up a comic collaboration with Margarita Korol that's a PSA of sorts, illustrating why "CHanukah" (in all of its various spellings and mispronunciations) shouldn't ever be a safety word in bed.

It's safe to say that Hanukkah Harry is not leaving me any gifts this year because the comic is definitely naughty.

Happy Hanukkah to all! (And Merry Christmas to the rest)

Happy Challah-days

2011-12-20T12:19:00.001-05:00

A couple of years ago, I was hired to dance as a break dancing elf. Immediately after I got the gig, I knew I was going to go Sedaris on that shit. I went straight home and reread "Santaland Diaries" and listened to his nasal recording of the story from This American Life for inspiration

Tastic the Jewish Elf (on the right)

After the Office Max "Elf Yourself" gig was complete, I sat down to compose "Happy Challah-days" which appeared on The Morning News (and was subsequently picked up by the City Room blog of the New York Times). Since I am not as hard up for money this year, I haven't reprised my role as a Jewish Christmas break dancing elf. But since there is no such thing as deleting anything on the interwebs, here is the story, reposted, for the holidays, a holiday story filled with footwork, velvet, elf puns, elf labor strikes and of course, Beyonce.

Happy Challah-days from Tastic the Elf!

On Matisyahu, British singers and authenticity

2011-12-19T19:28:00.000-05:00

Like many other Jews, I was tickled by the success of Matisyahu, the Hasidic reggae performer who just shaved his beard. I was amused that a Hasidic Jew with a full beard and peyes (sidecurls) had achieved mainstream success, that words like "moshiach" could be heard on Top 40 radio stations around the country instead of merely in the songs of Jewish boy bands (think Menudo but with velvet yarmulkes and even sillier dance moves) that I had grown up listening to.

But that didn't mean I was a fan of his music. First of all, I'm not a fan of reggae in general. Perhaps I started smoking weed too late in life and wasn't properly stoned during those important and formative "reggae years." In addition, I disliked the simplistic Utopian vision laid out in several of his songs.

And finally, I wasn't too thrilled with his music from a gender perspective. I might be oversensitive when it comes to these issues (wouldn't be the first time) but when I listened to radio hits like "Youth," I found myself getting annoyed at the chorus, which contained lyrics like, "Young man/control in your hands/slam your first on the table/and make your demands." While I know it is not unusual for an artist--writer, singer, filmmaker--to create for versions of themselves, which means that if they're male, they address men in their work, and women have others of their gender in mind. Yet when it came to Matisyahu, I thought that the maleness of his music had as much to do with the singer's gender as it did with the Orthodox Jewish thought he adopted. And whether or not my assumption was true, it still rubbed me the wrong way.

From other quarters, the criticism that I most often heard in regards to Matisyahu centered around issues of authenticity. On the one hand, many thought that his mainstream success was in large part due to the novelty of him being a Hasidic Jew who sings reggae and beat boxes. (A side note: I can't tell you how many times I get asked how my beat boxing is going. Before this, I never thought that breaking or break dancing would be so easily confused with beat boxing.) Implicit in this criticism is that Matisyahu is somehow inauthentic. Either he isn't authentically Hasidic if he's into and/or good at reggae or he isn't truly a reggae performer, that his Judaism somehow negates that. (You know, the whole "Jews don't do that" argument, which makes every successful hip hop artist and athlete who happens to be Jewish worthy of a headline.)

Add to all of that reggae, in particular, seems to lend itself to accusations of phoniness. In a review of Matisyahu's last album, Light, Brian Howe over at Paste wrote:

"The biggest hurdle for white, Western reggae singers to overcome is phoniness: How to make reggae without faking patois (which sounds silly and condescending) and how to embrace its themes without reducing a racially and politically charged genre to mere shtick."

Howe seems to think that Matisyahu fails on all counts--from the patois (which is sprinkled with a heavy dose of Ashkenazis expressions) to the message of his music.

I don't think he should be harshly criticized for adopting the Jamaican patois since that seems to be something of the norm. The accent, lilt and cadence of the patois is expected by listeners of the music genre. (At least according to my limited knowledge of reggae.)

While thinking about that particular criticism, I was reminded of a conversation I had with someone much smarter than I am--a professor of ethnomusicology (though he primarily writes about hip hop and is pretty intelligent and articulate about popular culture). We were discussing Amy Winehouse and "blue-eyed soul" back when I was working on a profile about the late singer last year. What he wondered aloud about is--why do British singers record in American accents? To his knowledge, very few British acts sing in their native accent. He offered the Clash as an example of a band that sings in its natural accent. (To that, I added Lily Allen, though she seems to speak on her records as much as she talks. I'm sure there are others.) In his opinion, artists chose to sing this way because soul, rock, etc. are musical styles created in America and they acknowledge the tradition by singing the songs as American artists would, especially since many like the Rolling Stones were deeply influenced by the blues. Is Matisyahu acting in a similar fashion by adopting a patois?

Upon a little digging, I found an additional explanation for "un" accented British singing English that has less to do with respecting a culture and genre and more to do with physiological factors (from the National Center of Voice and Speech)

"When people speak with an accent, they produce the vowel sounds differently than the person identifying them as having an accent. When singing, the vowels are prolonged and those differences are minimized. In short: because singing isn't the same as talking from physiological standpoint."

Well, so much for that. (Though I still agree with my friend that at least some of the singing style is conscious on the part of the singer if not to honor the cultural roots of the music then at least to sound like singers who have been commercially successful.)

Anyway, what brings Matisyahu and all of this to mind is his very recent shave and his announcement that he no longer wished to be considered a "Hasidic reggae superstar." This was big news within the Jewish community, with everyone guessing as to what this shave meant philosophically, religiously and commercially. Was he still Orthodox? What would this mean to his record sales if he can no longer heuristically be referred to as the "Hasidic reggae singer"? Also, if he can merely shave off his beard and announce that he isn't Hasidic anymore, how "authentic" had that identity been?

I don't really have any answers to these questions. I saw him in his first post-beard concert on Thursday night and as far as I can tell, his fans didn't seem to mind all that much. Having never attended a Matisyahu show before and having listened to little of his music, I have no basis for comparison, no "before" to understand the "after." From an aesthetic perspective, I think his new look is an improvement though an even bigger improvement would be a handlebar mustache because those are simply awesome.

But please, Matisyahu, whatever you end up doing musically and religiously--don't grow a soul patch.

Sex and the single Stern girl

2011-12-13T20:57:00.000-05:00

As many people have already heard, last week a YU affiliated paper published a first person account of a sexual encounter that contained no graphic details and in which the narrator expressed regret at the end.

Not scandalized? Well, I guess you are not an Orthodox Jewish student at the school. After many negative comments, the student council decided to pull its funding.

The mainstream press caught wind of the story--from Gawker to The Wall Street Journal to the incredibly philo-Semitic New York Times.

What did scandalize me was that during the course of reporting the story (and after speaking to a few Stern students, including the author of so-called "controversial" essay) was how hard it was to find out information about sex, pregnancy, contraceptives, etc. within Yeshiva University, which is why I decided to dig a little further into the matter. You can read the story in it's entirety at JTA.

Michele Bachmann's unholy association with my namesake, Devorah

2011-12-06T23:32:00.000-05:00

A friend sent me a link to a video explaining the possibility of Bachmann's resurgence based on the Biblical precedent set by another female leader (a term I am loathe to use in connection to Bachmann)--the prophetess from Judges, Devorah. (Deborah if you care to anglicize it.) According to the video, Bachmann is set for a second surge.

At first I thought it was a joke, that the makers were mocking Michele Bachmann because I could not conceive of anyone speaking seriously about her. But as I kept watching--and you should definitely see it through to the end--I realized that this was not the case, at least I don't think it is. They are predicting her resurgence and dragging my namesake through the mud to do it.

In which I speak to Blossom Russo

2011-12-06T00:50:00.000-05:00

Last week I had the pleasure of speaking with Mayim Bialik, who any 90s child remembers as Blossom from the show of the same name. Insert obligatory "Whoa" joke here.

Here are the results of this short interview--a brief article over at JTA.

How Israel is like the crazy person on a reality TV show

2011-11-30T21:55:00.000-05:00

As almost everyone knows, the government of Israel has employed the brilliant strategy of trying to get its citizens to move back a country where gender segregated public busing is tolerated by running a series of ads that tells Israelis that if they don't move home they will imperil their identities as Israelis and Jews.

This is just one of the ads that the Ministry of Immigrant Absorption is running to get Israelis in the U.S. to return to their native country. In addition to implying that American Jewish children don't know about Hanukkah so you better hurry on back, other ads suggest that Americans of the Jewish or non variety can't understand Yom HaZikaron (Memorial Day) or that your child will call his father "Daddy" but will be unable to learn "abba." Real flattering stuff.

Jeffrey Goldberg over at the Atlantic put it best:

These government-sponsored ads suggest that it is impossible for Jews to remain Jewish in America. How else are we supposed to understand the "Christmas" ad? Obviously, assimilation and intermarriage are issues in America in ways they aren't in Israel. Israel has other problems of course, such as the fact that many of its rabbis act like Iranian mullahs...The message is: Dear American Jews, thank you for lobbying the American defense aid (and what a great show you put on at the AIPAC convention every year!) but, please, stay away from our sons and daughters.

Yes, cause as we all know Judaism disappeared during the Diaspora and was only resurrected in 1948 when the state of Israel was founded after the Zionists discovered it in the Negev like the Dead Sea Scrolls.

I can't get too down about all this since it supplies yet another incident for the reality television show The Real Bureaucrats of Jerusalem.

In the last couple of years, Israel (and by that I mean its government) has kind of become like that crazy character on reality television shows--you know, the one who has tantrums, starts fights, pulls someone's hair. The one that makes you think, "Damn, you're crazy." But because they're so crazy, they're also unpredictable, which makes them excellent entertainment in a perverse way. That's what Israel has become to me. One the fake tan bitches in the Real Housewives franchise.

I'm not saying I truly enjoy watching Israeli democracy break down but if I'm going to continue to pay attention to events in the Middle East, I do have to find amusement as well as note frequent injustices. It's either that or cry. The latter is not really an option--I don't wear waterproof mascara.

Oh, and by the way--here's how Americans view Israelis. (Check out this SNL clip from way back featuring Tom Hanks as a Sabra host of the Price is Right.)

And a spoof of the ads (h/t Dov Bear)

Modesty is an Olympic sport

2011-11-27T15:58:00.000-05:00

As many who have grown up in Orthodox Jewish communities know that folks get hyper competitive over matters of observance--who is more restrictive in matters of Shabbat, kashrut and modesty. The more things you don't do, the more pious you are. It's like a competitive sport for those who don't engage in them a whole lot.

As for the modesty arena of competition--this is the special domain of women, just like candle lighting or childbirth--except less flammable and less bloody.

Below is a pretty funny video depiction of what can result from this sort of hyper-competitive mentality. Don't be put off by the Hebrew--there is very little speaking in the video and you can get the gist without understanding the language.

Nevertheless, I will translate it cause I'm a good person.

At the start, the disembodied male voice says: "Our parasha (Torah portion) concerns itself with the modesty. Maimonides says, 'A woman of valor is one who is careful with modesty.'"

And at the end: "The Rashba disagreed with Maimonides and said that, 'More important than modesty is that the woman appears beautiful in the eyes of her husband.'"

There you have it. In two short lines, the religion's take on woman's physicality: cover it up or look pretty. Different sides of the same misogynistic coin.

(h/t Esther K.)

1994 National Championships and the Confederate flag?

2011-11-26T17:27:00.001-05:00

On the International Gymnast message board, there is currently a thread which asks fans, "Which is your favorite national championships?" The originator of this thread listed 1994 when Dominique Dawes swept the all around and all of the event finals.

I recall this event dimly. I was such an ardent Shannon Miller fan at that time that I only watched the competition (which I had recorded) once or twice because it was too painful for me to see Miller place second repeatedly. I was a pretty intense 11-year-old kid when it came to things like that.

Anyway, at the suggestion of this message board post, I decided to stroll down memory lane and watch the competition again. Thankfully, at 28 I am able to accept and enjoy Dawes' victory. Ah, maturity.

Yet as I was watching I was unsettled by an unexpected sight. As I appreciated Dawes' excellent choreography (take note elites of today: it is possible to do four tumbling passes and still fit in some quality dance) I noticed a Confederate flag behind the African American gymnast as she danced and tumbled. Go to :51 if you want to see the image.

It turns out that this is the state flag of Georgia, which was officially changed in 2001 to remove this symbol. Typically strolls down gymnastics memory lane make one feel nostalgic for an era of a more artistic sport but this trip made me appreciate that some things in the present are a bit better.

The ladies of MAWU

2011-11-25T11:25:00.000-05:00

Here's a fierce new video from the women of MAWU, an all-female house dance crew based in New York City.

If this doesn't make you want to get up and work off that Thanksgiving turkey, stuffing and pie, I don't know what will.

What's Jew got to do with it?

2011-11-22T17:24:00.000-05:00

I'm all for writing about Jews and linking Judaism to stuff when there is a true connection between say, dance, and the religion and its practitioners. But sometimes I'm irked when I read stories out of the Jewish media (the niche one, not the larger Philo-Semitic one) that bend over backwards to create a Jewish story where one doesn't exist.

Case in point: a recent article for Tablet about Drake and Mac Miller. While both rappers are Jewish, that's where the Jewish content ends. The article doesn't do any analysis, aside from noting record sales, hit songs and characterizing one as frattish and the other as introspective, yet proclaims them to be indicative of a "golden age of Jewish rap."

I have more to say (along with jokes and videos!), which I did over at JTA.

Apologies if I have already used "What's Jew got to do with it?" as a title for a previous blog post. I've got a finite source of puns and jokes as well as very limited short term memory.

A Very Young Gymnast

2011-11-17T21:49:00.001-05:00

In today's New York Times, there is a long article about Stephanie DePierro, the ballerina that was the subject of Jill Krementz's book, A Very Young Dancer. DePierro had been 10 when Krementz chronicled her life, from family to school to dance, for an installment of the A Very Young series.

While I don't recall the particulars of this book--I read it about once and no more--this made me think about A Very Young Gymnast, also by Krementz, which was about Torrance York, a gymnast who lived in New York City. (Those of you who know about high level gymnasts know that very few of them end up coming from NYC).

Anyway, I took this book out from the library dozens of times until I had committed the text to memory. Once or twice, I contemplated "losing" it so I could read it forever. I wished to be like Torrance--gifted, in high level training. I was insanely jealous that she got to meet Nadia Comaneci and Bela Karolyi when they visited the U.S. I also really wanted a green leotard like the one she wore on the cover of the book.

Today's article got me wondering-- what ever happened to Torrance York? Did she stop doing gymnastics young as Ms. DePierro had done with dancing? Did she feel undue pressure to continue in the sport because many young, aspiring (and maniacal) gymnasts looked up to her? And finally, who will pay me to investigate and write about her?

UPDATE: Reader and commenter Tanya S. googled Torrance and provided the link to this bio about the adult York, who is an award-winning photographer. She explained her work and its connection to gymnastics in an interview:

What I found satisfying as a child--achieving the exact form required on the balance beam--is now reflected in my fascination with the specificity of the GPS system. Practicing, refining and reworking to get the time and nuances of my childhood gymnastics routines just right is not unlike my current photographic process--the effort to get the precise image I want and the many revision made to print it as I envision it should be. The perfectionism nurtured through the sport can be daunting in everyday life, but has a useful role in my photographic work.

As someone who also entered into a field where being painstakingly precise--writing--is also an asset, Igree with York's assessment of how gymnastics training and perfectionism can be useful in certain types of future endeavors, such as photography (and writing) that require so many hours of practice and dozens of iterations (or drafts).

She also had some interesting observations about the photographic representation of gymnasts that is particularly insightful:

While taking the course "The Camera and the Body" at the Rhode Island School of Design, Torrance observed how the news media would reduce the image of gymnasts to the simple elements of a competitor's name, age, height and weight--just the surface facts representing the whole person. She likens this to her use of the GPS system to identify her exact position in relation to the environment she is shooting. The GPS coordinates are a label, but the place, like the gymnast, is more complex. The resulting photographs express her experience in that place, on that point.

I find this particularly fascinating because one of the most salient points about gymnasts (and more generally, athletes) is spatial awareness, awareness of where your body is in space. Of course, the media cannot be expected to keep track of a gymnast's relative position throughout her performance. But I do find it interesting that a former gymnast devised a GPS system in her photography to best represent position in space.

Which gymnasts wouldn't have been successful had they not been able to specialize?

2011-10-23T12:00:00.053-04:00

Here's something I've been wondering about since the announcement that the Olympic gymnastics teams would be comprised of only five members (instead of six) and subsequent move back to favoring all-around gymnasts over 1-2 event specialists--which gymnasts might we never have heard of had they been forced to be competitive on all four apparatuses?

Since the introduction of the 3 up, 3 three count team finals format, specialists, those gymnasts who are truly exceptional on 1-2 events but not really well-rounded in general, have become an important part of any team's strategy. Indeed, the Chinese supremacy on uneven bars in 2008 had a lot to do with an athlete named He Kexin, who competed on just that one apparatus. On balance beam, you had Li Shanshan. On floor and vault, you had Cheng Fei (who ended up adding balance beam and doing well there, too). But would they have ever achieved prominence had they been forced to be competitive on all four events?

And there are other gymnasts who have benefited from this more forgiving competitive format--both Alicia Sacramone and Catalina Ponor have experienced tremendous success despite not competing on bars. (It has recently been announced that Ponor will resume bars training and given how weak Romania is on that particular event, she'll probably be able to have an impact for her team and perhaps make herself competitive in the all-around.)

The last time Sacramone competed on bars was in 2006 and though she had fairly decent execution (though with several missed handstands), she carried a very low degree of difficulty and admitted to being afraid of the event. She stopped training the apparatus, partly at the suggestion of Martha Karolyi, who probably assured her that she would never be called upon to compete on bars in a team competition.

Would Alicia made Olympic and world championship teams had she been forced to compete in the era before 2000? (I do realize that starting in 92-2000 years, one or two gymnasts on the team would be off the hook for one or two events, but even so, you wouldn't really call any of those gymnasts "specialists" the way we understand these days. All-around athletes still dominated those eras and teams were still largely selected based off of 4 event prowess.)

The answer to that question is a very strong "maybe." Now obviously, if different rules were in effect, Sacramone and others would have trained differently. Certainly, she would never have stopped training the event. And many have speculated that she could've been top 3 all-around (at least in the U.S.) if she could put together a mediocre routine on bars. While that certainly may be true, I think that's also a testament to how much the all-around field has weakened since the introduction of the 3 up, 3 count rules.

What do the rest of you think about the reversion to all-around athletes? And which gymnast(s) who were successful in the specialist era would have been out of luck had they been forced to compete on all four events? Or would those athletes have been competitive albeit with a glaring weakness on one event?

OWS and XOJane: a rant

2011-10-22T12:59:00.003-04:00

I have spent the last few weeks following the exploits of the Occupy Wall Street protesters (several of the devoted are good friends of mine) and have been down there a few times myself, finding the site and its durability to be quite inspiring. And online, I have read vociferously on the topic, heartened by the protest movements it has inspired all over the country and world. I don't know how this will all end and if it will have the impact that many of us are hoping for--a realignment of our national priorities, a more equitable tax code, compassion for the poor-- but it is nonetheless exciting to see so many involved.

And then I read this over at XOJane, Jane Pratt's online follow-up to the significantly better Jane and Sassy. In it, Cat Marnell discusses her past experience with "drunkorexia," which is not recognized disorder in the DSM but has something to do with college coeds who don't eat but only drink alcohol, do drugs and party.

This blogger, Cat, has already received a lot of flak for a previous post in which she flippantly discussed her idiotic and irresponsible birth control choices (or lack thereof). And while I also found that piece abominable, enough has been said on the topic. I'm more interested in ranting about the drunkorexia post.

The whole time I'm reading her article, I'm wondering-- how did she manage to stay in school, get good jobs and get ahead in her career when so many who have not put a foot wrong (or have barely stepped out of line)-- the ones who have worked hard their entire lives, did exactly what society told them was necessary--have found themselves under piles of student debt, unable to find proper jobs with health coverage? Now, I'm not begrudging Cat her healthcare even if she chooses to practice the stupidest forms of pregnancy and STI prevention imaginable but her steady climb up the career ladder despite being a seemingly irresponsible individual is highly upsetting, given that even she admitted to not making an effort in school and staying out all night partying and pissing away her trust fund. (I would also add that I don't think she is quite talented as a writer but since that is entirely subjective and Jane Pratt has already commented on trying to develop young voices so perhaps Marnell will become a better thinker and writer. Or not.)

While I understand that acting like a shortsighted fool might seem like a prerequisite for working in the fashion industry, but given the times in which we live and the protests going on in our streets, I find Marnell's flip writing style about abusing her privileges -- whether it's monetary or medical (her choice of Plan B as birth control is predicated upon the fact that she lives in New York where the morning after pill is very accessible)-- to be even more difficult to defend.

Michigan gymnasts out and about

2011-10-21T17:56:00.000-04:00

There is an excellent first person account in Out Sports (actually it's a double first person account) from two former University of Michigan gymnasts-- one who came out as gay during his collegiate athletic career and one who remained closeted and came out only at the very end of college.

Evan Heiter, who had come out during his college days, wrote the following:

In gymnastics, there's not denying the presence of gay-athletes is felt stronger than in other sports. However, what most don't realized is that this creates a fiery passion for some heterosexual gymnasts to defend themselves and cut others down.

As a gymnastics fan, one of the questions I often heard when I admitted my love for the sport was, "Aren't a lot of those guys gay?"

"Not to my knowledge," I responded when I was younger, while acknowledging that I simply didn't know much about the sexual orientation of male gymnasts (not that it ever really mattered to me anyway). To them, I would cite the names of male gymnasts who were married with kids, without realizing that this did not necessarily prove heterosexuality. But to be fair to my younger self, I simply wasn't aware of a lot of gymnasts who were out at the time.

Evan's statement in Out Sports reminded me of this question I used to get asked a lot. I guess (and this is pure speculation so please don't kill me) that perhaps many male gymnasts are questioned about their sexuality because so many people associate the sport with females. At least in the United States, the best (and in many cases, only) known gymnasts are all female-- Mary Lou, Shawn, Nastia, the entire Magnificent Seven. A lot of folks don't even know which events are done by women and which by men. (I also get asked a lot if I did rings, to which I respond-- Thank God no! Bars were taxing enough on my minimal upper body strength.)

The fact that there sport is often associated with women may make, as Evan's statement seems to indicate, male gymnasts even more defensive of their heterosexuality and insistent on the hetero-normativity (that should be a word, like nativity) of athletes in the sport. This, in turn, may make it more difficult for male gymnasts to come out of the closet, which is very unfortunate.

Change in selection procedures

2011-10-19T12:10:00.001-04:00

As anyone who reads this blog with an interest in gymnastics (as opposed to an interest in Judaism) then you know precisely how I feel about the U.S. women's gymnastics team's selection procedure.

For those of you who feel the same way about Martha's policies, I've got good news -- it has just been announced that the Olympic team will be chosen immediately following the Olympic trials. It seems that the fan response to Alicia Sacramone's injury as well as some unflattering press has led USA Gymnastics to make this very sensible decision.

To those who might point to the success that the U.S. achieved at the most recent world's using Martha's methods, I would be quick to point out that the very same team could've been chosen right after Nationals. They simply took the top all-arounders (Wieber, Maroney, Raisman), the top bar scorers (Li, Douglass or Mackenzie Caquatto, who wouldn't have injured herself at a selection camp) and Alicia Sacramone and then selected an alternate (Vega). Same team, no extra selection.

It will certainly be interesting to see how this plays out this summer.

Why isn't gymnastics more popular?

2011-10-18T23:03:00.000-04:00

As I was explaining my absence from The Anti-Girlfriend last week--it was simply too much to juggle world championships, this site and another site (not to mention a job)-- I posited that perhaps gymnasts are the most anti-girlfriend of all athletes.

It's something I've been thinking about for awhile-- not the un-dateability of gymnasts but why the sport itself will never be a big spectator sport. This also puzzled me when I was younger. Why, I wondered, did people want to watch golf or basketball or baseball but not gymnastics? After all, what is cooler? Putting around on the green or flipping on the beam? (Please forgive me for that rhyme.)

One of the conclusions I came to (which I also discuss in the anti-girlfriend post) is that in sports such as soccer or golf or baseball, the weekend warrior and the elite athlete are separated by degree. Most people can play soccer or imagining playing soccer on some level even if they don't play very well. If you run you can certainly envision running faster. Same goes for basketball, baseball and most certainly golf. It is not hard to imagine oneself doing any of these activities.

As for gymnastics-- not so much. Unless you've done gymnastics (and even if you have), watching gymnastics leaves you in awe. It very rarely inspires flights of fancy during which you believe you could actually do anything you just witnessed onscreen. It creates awe, which is a form of distance. So every four years in the context of the Olympics, gymnastics is popular. But because it is viewed at such a literal and imaginative distance, it will probably never attain a mass popularity.

Proselytizing with gymnastics

2011-10-17T15:23:00.000-04:00

Since I've started working at JTA, I've manged to write three stories (two short news brief and one longer piece) and an annotated video slideshow about gymnastics for the site. This content is then disseminated to JTA's domestic and international clients. As one sports-minded colleague noted, there have been more JTA stories on the sport in the past four months than there have been in the five years he's been working at the company.

Needless to say, I'm pretty pleased with myself. I've always said it is my goal to spread gymnastics unto the masses. (Also, breaking and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)

You can read my latest brief about the success of Aly Raisman and Alexander Shatilov here.

Final Thoughts on Worlds

2011-10-17T01:24:00.000-04:00

So I just finished watching Universal Sport's coverage of the 2011 World Championships and I have a few final thoughts on the competition results.

First, I'm so happy for Aly Raisman and her bronze medal on floor exercise. She is such a team player and when I spoke to her before nationals, she mentioned that she would really like to medal on floor ex after having unexpectedly placed 4th last year. I was so pleased to see her receive an individual accolade.

As to the primary problem that most fans have with her -- her lack of artistry -- well, I must agree. I won't make the argument that she is actually artistic, like I did for Jordyn Wieber, who demonstrates excellent technique and form as well as an engaging performance style. But even if the toe point, hands and flexibility are sub-optimal (which they are), she does have one of the better choreographed floor routines in the world today. It moves well across the mat, features some interesting dance elements and works with music, not in defiance of it. Raisman is really doing the best she can with her skill set. Now if only Komova could find a choreographer who could help her maximize her tremendous dance potential.

I, like many, were disappointed with China's performance. Though Sui Lu (!) and Yao Jinnan did exceptionally well for themselves in Tokyo, the same cannot be said for the rest of the team, most notably Olympic champion He Kexin, who fell off the uneven bars in preliminaries never to be heard from again. Given the fact that teams will be reduced to five members next year, it's unlikely that a one event specialist, much less a one event specialist who falls on her only apparatus, will be taken to the Olympics. While she is exceptional on bars when she hits, I'm pleased with this development -- the reemergence of all-around gymnasts. I've never gotten into the idea of using specialists. (A note on Yao's floor music -- a medley from West Side Story is fine but did you have to sample every single tune in the musical? An additional note that my friend pointed out to me -- more gymnasts should use Broadway show tunes since they are relatively easy to move to. Just a thought.)

The leap passes on floor: I've been thinking this for awhile but only writing about it now -- what is up with those leap passes on floor? You know, those supposed joined leaps with only a full run between the two elements. Seriously, the girls run nearly as much for a tumbling pass as they do between these two supposedly linked dance skills. And it looks awful and rarely goes well with the music. Difficult dance moves are hardly ever that -- dance. Just because a gymnast does a clean triple turn or a switch leap with a turn, it doesn't mean she actually danced those moves, especially if she breaks the flow of her exercise to set up the turn for a seeming eternity while looking down at the floor before finally going for it while inelegantly hiking her shoulders up to her earlobes. Decidedly not dance.

On meeting expectations: Jordyn Wieber and Viktoria Komova. Both athletes were rightly and highly touted before this competition and both more or less delivered. Wieber, despite her bars error in the all-around, seems like the calmer competitor of the two, but I do worry about her heading into the Olympic as the world champion. That's certainly a lot of pressure but hopefully she'll be able to manage it the way Shawn Johnson did. Perhaps it was the fact that Komova is still recovering from an injury but she didn't strike me as the fiercest of competitors at these championships. While I enjoy artistry and elegance in gymnasts, competitiveness and ability to withstand pressure is what earns my respect.

Depth: Though I did publish a lengthy article about the practices of Martha Karolyi and how they might negatively impact the Americans' chances for team gold in London, it is really undeniable that they are the team to beat right now, especially when you consider how deep the team is and how many athletes will be vying for a spot next year (including Nastia Liukin, who just announced that she plans to return to form on beam and bars). Unfortunately for the Americans, depth matters less when it comes to a five person squad.

Individual qualifiers: Was anyone else here rooting for the gymnasts from countries who hadn't qualified teams to London to medal here? Sure, I love the work of the Chinese and Japanese but in event finals I was hoping for other guys to overtake them so they could punch their tickets to London. I was so excited that Alexander Shatilov from Israel medaled. Also, it's always hilarious to watch this six footer stand next to his fellow competitors during award ceremonies. I swear, Shatilov on the bottom step of the podium is taller than Uchimura is on the top of the medal stand. Here's for Shatilov thwarting two stereotypes simultaneously -- that Jewish men are short as are gymnasts.

Some additional thoughts on the Slate gymnastics story

2011-10-14T16:08:00.001-04:00

As I've already blogged, a few days ago an op-ed that I wrote about the women's gymnastics team selection procedures and how they seem to be misguided and ultimately work against the goals of the program was published by Slate.

Though the somewhat sensational tone of the headers were outside of my purview, I'm grateful to the editors over at Slate for leaving my main argument nuanced and intact. It was an article about strategy, not about victimization, which is not the general theme of stories about women's gymnastics.

One day later Jezebel published a story, also timed to the world championships (this and the Olympics are the only times that the sport receives more than scant coverage) that fell along the more traditional lines. It was about the recent spate of accusations of sexual abuses that have shocked many. It was written by a writer and former top notch gymnast who unbeknownst to her, had been trained by a coach that had abused other students.

(For those of you who may not have heard, famed coach Don Peters was accused of having sex with one of his pupils in the 80s, and accounts from team members seem to corroborate this awful tale. I, for one, believe the accusers and hope that USA Gymnastics investigates these complaints and examines its procedures to deal with sort of situation better in the future.)

I have no quibble with the Jezebel story, which can be read in its entirety here. Crimes should be exposed. I've always been in favor of airing one's dirty laundry in public. (Any of you who have read my criticisms of the Jewish community know that very well.)

My problem is that the author used some anecdotes to argue that abuse is more widespread in the women's gymnastics program though there is no evidence to suggest it is. While it's very tragic, this happens in all youth sports. Also, this is the sort of coverage we've come to expect when the mainstream takes an interest in our sport -- to emphasize both the femaleness and victimhood of the athletes. To these writers, they are self-directed and motivated individuals last, young girls and victims first.

It was more eloquently stated by a wonderfully intelligent and insightful friend, who read both my story and the Jezebel post. "The Jezebel piece still feels like -- innocent gymnast girls victimized by pervy authority figures. It sort of ghettoizes gymnastics."

As to my Slate story, she said -- "I like your approach of talking about gymnastics as a sport that needs to pursued strategically, not as some feminized dystopia."

She continued, "But taking a tack that's not about gender, age, sex, etc. and doing exactly what you just said is really smart and important for normalizing how we talk about all sports."

I hope that I and others who are passionate about the sport get additional opportunities to have deeper conversations about the sport that move beyond the NBC hype and sexist themes.

The Artistry Fallacy

2011-10-13T12:31:00.000-04:00

I have just watched the women's all around finals and read some of the responses on the gymnastics message boards and I have to air some long-held grievances around the issues of dance and artistry. Among fans and gymnastic writers there seems to be a pretty obvious bias -- that if a gymnast is seen as having a more balletic style and body type, she is deemed artistic and therefore a good dancer.

As I was reading International Gymnast's previews of the women's teams and all around, Wieber's weakness was listed as "artistry" in addition to bars (which I agree is by far her weakest event). I wouldn't consider Wieber to be lacking in artistry. She performs with excellent form and technique. And her floor exercise is well-choreographed to the music and Wieber does an excellent job of engaging with the music and the audience as she performs it -- eyes off the floor and into the audience. To my mind, performing skills that are more than mere arm waving to the music and acknowledging the audience is a sign of good artistry. It's just not a balletic type of artistry.

If we followed the gymnastics logic about dance then hip hop dance would not be considered artistic. Really, nothing aside from ballet or a dance style that is done with a perfectly upright and rigidly held carriage would be considered artistic. This view is unfair to other styles that are less polished but by no means less artistic and less in tune with the music.

Victoria Komova, by contrast, is a gymnast with enormous dance potential but suffers from bad choreography and an introverted performance style. There is a lot of arm waving in her routine and a lot of it are merely flourishes -- added in to merely do something as opposed to being truly intentional and interpretive of the music. There are also several "rest" moments when all energy stops flowing. Even when the choreography allows you to pause, a dancer shouldn't just take a break. The pause should accentuate something in the music -- the pause itself is also dance and should be treated as such. Though it shocks me to say this, Vanessa Ferrari made excellent uses of slow moments in her routine in Tokyo -- she didn't relax but used them to convey a sultriness. (By the way, these are criticisms I have of many, many routines, not just Komova's. I'm merely using her as an example since she has been labelled "artistic" in opposition to Wieber's so-called lack of artistry.)

Don't get me wrong -- Komova is a lovely gymnast with great extension, form and technique, and I wouldn't have at all minded her coming out on top in the all around. She is certainly a worthy champion. Furthermore, coming off ankle surgery in May, she was hardly at her best in Tokyo. Next year, she will surely a greater force to be reckoned with when she brings back the Amanar vault. I hope Jordyn and John Geddert go back to Michigan and work on some upgrades cause they will need them in London to hold of Komova as well as a returning Mustafina. (Not to mention, Anastasia Grishina.)

But this is a rant about artistry, not start values and competitive results. If dance is important to the sport -- and I would say it is not highly prioritized, judging from the routines we see -- I think we need to expand our notions about what it means to be artistic.

The leadership of Martha Karolyi

2011-10-12T17:04:00.003-04:00

Today on Slate I have an article questioning the wisdom and leadership of Martha Karolyi.

I penned this critique on Thursday after I awoke to the news of Alicia Sacramone's ruptured Achilles tendon and Aly Raisman's minor ankle injury. This prompted me to start mentally composing an essay about the U.S. selection procedure, which I think is incredibly counterproductive in that our top (often older) gymnasts are sidelined with injuries before the competitions begin.

This was a conversation I've online with several other gymnastics fans and the outcry at Sacramone's injury seems to indicate that many others share this view. Even if Sacramone's injury has absolutely nothing to do with the multiple training camps, there is a sense that many of the injuries have a lot to do with Karolyi's methods.

As I watched the American girls compete and win yesterday in such spectacular fashion, it suddenly struck me -- perhaps not by design (since no one, certainly not Karolyi, wanted Alicia to get hurt), Martha got the only team that could train the way she wants them to. With the exception of Raisman, who was the veteran at 17, the other five girls were 16 and younger. This means that they are still young enough and not so beat up as to be able to withstand her methods. This does not bode well for older athletes next year.

In this video, Mike Canales, an orthopedic surgeon, husband to 1996 Olympic gold medalist Dominique Moceanu and a former high level gymnast himself, asks Martha about the rash of injuries that have befallen the Americans. (This particular question comes at 9:20 in the video but watch the earlier parts if you want to see Moceanu and Canales speak to the American and foreign gymnasts. Imagine that NBC!)

When asked whether these injuries will change the manner in which the team is selected, Karolyi said no and then added, "It looks like the younger generation is breaking in." She then went on to list many young seniors or juniors who will eligible for next year, which sort of confirms my earlier suspicions.

As Canales noted at the end -- out with the old, in with the new.

Reflections on Women's Team Finals

2011-10-11T21:31:00.000-04:00

Today the U.S. women won the team gold medal at the world championships in Tokyo and now after watching all of the routines (I managed to watch most of the competition before work this morning but didn't want to comment until I had seen them all), I will share a few, not-so-short observations.

First of all -- congrats to the U.S. girls. They certainly did a terrific job thus far at these championships despite losing two athletes to injury before the start of the competition. They didn't miss a single routine in a meet full of misses. Job well-done!

I want to single out Aly Raisman, who really stepped up as team leader after Alicia Sacramone had to withdraw. I was so touched by the pep talk she gave McKayla Maroney and Jordyn Wieber before they went to the final event, floor exercise. It's great to see her rise to the occasion, both as an athlete and leader.

My favorite gymnastics moment: McKayla Maroney's Amanar vault. Gymnastics fans have long known that she did one of the very best 2.5 twisters in the world, but it has seriously improved at these championships. I've never seen anyone do the vault so high before. (Same goes for her 3.5 twister on floor ex-- she just seems to float in the air.) Here it is in all of its glory:

I was also so impressed with how Gabby Douglas comported herself at these worlds, especially after the disastrous nationals she had. I think most fans were hoping for the best, which ended up transpiring, but fearing that the pressure would get to her. I'm pleased that she proved me wrong. She probably also did wonders for her confidence heading into this Olympic year.

While I felt really bad that Anna Li didn't get to compete -- I was a huge fan of her UCLA career -- I must confess that I don't like single event specialists. Though allowing a gymnast compete on less than four apparatuses does allow her to extend her career or gives careers to gymnasts who would otherwise not have one (imagine if Sacramone, who seemed to be allergic to bars, had to compete during the 1988-1992 era -- she may have never made a world team), I do think that an athlete should be expected to contribute more than one routine to the team. And with the squads reduced to five girls for next year's Olympics, I think we can all expect to see fewer one event gymnasts compete.

As the rest of the teams:

Much I'm sure will be made over the margin that the U.S. won by -- it will feed perfectly into NBC's pre-Olympic hyped up narrative -- but I wouldn't get cocky just yet. Aliya Mustafina will be back next year and she will be joined by Anastasia Grishina in addition to a fully healthy Viktoria Komova. Yes, Komova didn't have a stellar team finals but she is not fully back from ankle surgery and she managed to beat Jordyn Wieber in the prelims without the benefit of the highly rated Amanar vault. If the Russians add their Amanars back into their lineup, they will present a formidable challenge to the U.S., especially since they are strong on bars where the Americans are weak.

China had a disappointing competition. It seems like they lost the competitive and mental edge they had in the years leading up to Beijing. Back then, they seemed so focus on improving their mental game as much as their physical abilities. I won't say that they have become as notoriously inconsistent as they had once been but the focus seems to be missing. That said, they still have lovely bars and beam.

Romania in two words -- Catalina Ponor. The return of the triple gold medalist from Athens has been remarkable. She only started training six months ago and seems as fit and consistent as she had been in 2004 at 17. Her beam is sharp and consistent (kudos for throwing the full twisting double back dismount in prelims -- hope we see it again in event finals) and her double layout on floor is lofty. Her twisting form on her triple full and vault is still an eyesore. I wonder how much better Romania will fare when Sandra Izbasa returns and Larisa Iordache is eligible to compete. I'd say that at the very least, they'll be able to overtake China if it continues to compete this inconsistently.

The rest of the teams weren't really able to challenge for the podium but I was so happy that the Brits qualified for the final guaranteed team spot for London. There they will compete a full squad in front of their hometown crowd. I am saddened that Beth Tweddle didn't make bar finals. I really prefer her style to that of the Chinese. Though both are difficult, I really like the way Tweddle attacks bars -- I much prefer to see a gymnast do a combination of pirouettes and releases, moving from bar to bar, instead doing a series of very difficult turns and grips punctuated by a Jaeger flip on the high bar. It's just not very dynamic or fun.

Here is Beth's routine from team finals where she rocked it:

More thoughts tomorrow after the men's competition.

Where have all the velour leotards gone?

2011-10-09T03:33:00.000-04:00

Like most avid followers of gymnastics, I spend a fair amount of time being blinded the iridescence that are gymnastics leotards. I've already written a couple of times about the trashy-tastic fashions that dominate the sport. But as I was studying this year's offerings at the 2011 World Championships in Tokyo I was struck by what I didn't see -- velour and crushed velvet leotards.

Shannon Miller in velvet at the 1996 National Championships

When I first started doing gymnastics, my mother took me to a dances store and bought one of those short sleeve black ballet leotards which I wore over my leggings. I didn't know much about fashion back in those days.

Anyway, after I started going to more practices and reading gymnastics magazines, I came to covet the crushed velvet and velour leotards and was so proud when my mom finally purchased a purple tank version for me to wear to gymnastics classes.

Thereafter I purchased several leotards made of that fabric and loved them all even if they weren't exactly breathable. But at some point over the last 6 or 7 years, gymnasts stopped wearing them. I can't point to the exact time this style fell out favor but I've been racking my brain, and it's been awhile since I've seen one in elite competition.

Jordyn Wieber wearing the latest, non-velvet fashion

Where have all the crushed velvet leotards gone?

Asking that question put me in mind of this song. Just replace "cowboys" with "crushed velvet."

Alicia Sacramone Naked in ESPN's The Body issue

2011-10-07T00:07:00.000-04:00

As many of you gymnastics fans know, U.S. team captain Alicia Sacramone has had to withdraw from the 2011 World Championships in Tokyo after injuring her Achilles tendon. I have a lot more to say on the matter but not right now.

Anyway, on the same day that this unfortunate event took place, Alicia's photos from ESPN's "Body" issue were released. Though some conservative gymnastics fans might find this shocking, she is only wearing marginally less clothing than she wears in competition. Little spandex leotards don't offer much in the way of coverage.

Check out the video from the shoot:

Can't -- the four letter word the Orthodox use far too often

2011-10-05T14:31:00.000-04:00

A short essay I wrote about how overused and deeply entrenched the word "can't" (I realize it's really a contraction) has become in the Orthodox Jewish vocabulary.

It goes a little something like this:

“I can’t eat at the mall food court,” I explained to a friend when we were shopping. “I can’t go to that party - it’s on Shabbos.” Or, “I can’t do a back flip on the balance beam.” After such frequent use in daily religious life, the word had wormed its way into other situations. It’s also the way Orthodox Jews regard rabbinic prohibitions, as though they were physical impossibilities, as many would consider a back flip on a narrow plank.

Check out the rest over at the Forward's Sisterhood blog

So nice I had to share it twice

2011-09-27T20:55:00.000-04:00

Today on The Anti-Girlfriend, I put up a holiday card that says "Shana Tova!" the only way my alter ego and collaborator, FEMA Fatale know how to -- very explicitly yet whimsically.

In case you missed it, here it is again in all of its apple-rific glory. Happy New Year!

Shtetl Hipsters

2011-09-26T16:10:00.000-04:00

Awesome new Tumblr alert -- Shtetl Hipsters.

For those of you tired of playing a game of one-upmanship with your neighborhood hipsters and would prefer to win the battle once and for all, just go back, all the way back to the beginning. To the shtetl.

Because "My Jewish grandparent was cool before you," as the tagline goes.

Via Margarita Korol

Just check out the badassness of Margarita Korol's great-grandparents in the Ukraine. Somewhere out there some hipster or gypsy is trying to put together that exact outfit at a Buffalo Exchange.

Our ancestors were cooler than any of those Midwestern transplants currently haunting Brooklyn, thinking that Bushwick is so gritty and real, the ones wearing scarves in all kinds of weather. (Talking to you jogger who I saw with his t-shirt wrapped his neck like he bought it at Urban Outfitters.)

Bushwick gives you street cred? Hell no. Escape from a pogrom or the Cossacks and then maybe we can talk.

My acting debut

2011-09-25T21:08:00.000-04:00

Check me out in this fundraising video that I was a part of for JTA. I'm a little camera shy so I did this kind of grudgingly. And no, I did not provide them with any sincere moments because I don't traffic in real emotions.

Here's Eden's Eleven:

I just want to point out that mere days after shooting this and making that joke, I got an eye infection.

GOD, IT WAS A JOKE, GODDAMMIT!

And please stop with the irony -- just because I live in Brooklyn doesn't mean that irony is the only thing I get and appreciate. I enjoy all kinds of things -- sarcasm, stoner comedies, dance. Couldn't you send me a message through one of those mediums next time?

Sorry I've been MIA

2011-09-20T21:39:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't been updating this site too much. It's been a bit crazy with a job (can you believe?) and my new web venture, The Anti-Girlfriend. Having an alter ego is fun but time consuming.

Anyway, here are some updates and links to what I've been getting myself into lately. As the official "pop culture savant" over at JTA, I wrote fairly critical response to the premiere of 2 Broke Girls (yet still managed to pledge my undying love for Kat Dennings. #callme.)

And when you think of the 1930s and fashion, who is the first person that comes to mind? (This question is rhetorical.) Anyway, I will be writing posts on a semi-regular for the JTA archive, presenting a modern take on a fashion/shopping column written in the 30s. Here is my first post as JTA's fashion maven. (A preview: The French will always think we're fat.)

I promise some new original content for this site in the near future and not just linkage.

A bigger, badder feminist than me

2011-09-13T22:58:00.000-04:00

Usually, I'm the loudest, most opinionated and crass feminist in any given situation that I find myself in. Well, a few weeks ago I was totally outfeministed (that should be a word but alas it is not) by none other than Roseanne Barr. I interviewed her over the phone (she sounded kind of tired cause it was only 9 a.m. in Hawaii) and it was great fun, at least on my end.

Check out the interview here.

The Anti-Girlfriend

2011-09-07T15:57:00.000-04:00

So do any of you remember how a few months ago I wrote how I was giving up the writing biz for paralegaling? No? Well, several of my friends do and they're still giving me shit about it. But that's okay. I will have my revenge.

Anyway in that "farewell" post I mentioned that I was working on something new. And it's finally here!

Allow me to introduce you to The Anti-Girlfriend, which will be a web comic and blog that will deal with general (not Jewish) issues about sex, dating and relationships (that's the order I've tended to favor and probably why I don't make it past the first step).

I know what you're thinking -- that the moniker sounds kind of evil, like I'm the enemy of Christendom or malekind or something like that. Well, I was not the one who coined the term. That came courtesy of He Who Will Not Be Named but will be fully explained in the comics and blog posts. Anyway, I decided to reclaim like the gays did with "queer." (Also, I couldn't believe that no one had purchased the domain name.)

You are probably wondering -- I didn't realize you did art, too? Well, I don't. Writing is the only talent I've got. Sorry to disappoint you. But fortunately, I am collaborating with the uber artistic FEMA Fatale, who is responsible for the comics on the site.

I hope you guys enjoy my new project!

The Believer does Orthodox Judaism

2011-09-05T17:08:00.000-04:00

In the most recent issue of The Believer, a West Coast based periodical read mostly by writers after they've finished The New Yorker and The Paris Review, has gotten in on the Orthodox game. By that I mean, they've written an article about the "strange" ways of observant Jews.

I guess they couldn't let The New York Times have all of the fun.

This particular article is about the tradition of married women covering their hair. This was frequently and very progressively explained to me in school like this: Hair is a core component of a women's beauty and by covering it, she demonstrates that she reserves her beauty for her husband.

On dozens of sites, women describe covering their hair as a “daily struggle.” Protected by anonymity, they leave comments that they’re understandably reluctant to voice in public: “I still hate covering my hair, and it does not help that I originally did so at my husband’s insistence, without having any say (i.e. guts to argue)”; when wearing scarves to work, women claim they “developed poor self-esteem and felt incredibly self-conscious.”

(You can read the rest of the available excerpt here.)

This is hardly shocking. While many women profess a great sense of fulfillment at performing this particular "mitzvah" (I put it into quotes because though it means "commandment," which is technically neutral, it is generally thought to mean "good deed," and obviously this is not a sentiment I agree with), at its core it is a fundamentally repressive act.

Ladies, I don't know about you but I'm not comfortable with wearing a sign of ownership. Unless we can come up with some male equivalent. Any suggestions? What can men cover upon marriage to show that their asses are owned by another?

The Jewkranian Kanye

2011-09-02T13:53:00.001-04:00

While we know that Mr. West is not a fan of skinny white teenage girls with blonde hair and pretty dresses who strum songs their guitars about guys who dumped them, what does he think of fabulous, BBH (big booty ho) Ukranian Jewish immigrants who create fantastic urban pop art?

BBH Margarita is on the left.

Though Kanye hasn't explicitly addressed this population, he would probably be heartened to know that at least person in this demographic, the talented Margarita Korol, has given his songs the writerly treatment in an article over at Tablet.

And here is the video for Otis (also featuring this other little known rapper, Jay-Z) because I love the little scream Kanye West gives at the end.

Some feminism for Labor Day Weekend

2011-09-02T13:21:00.000-04:00

Because I would never leave you, my fair readers, without some challenge, however small, to the patriarchy that dominates Judaism, I present you with my most recent article for JTA.

In it, I interview the spectacular Galeet Dardashti, a Persian and Middle Easter singer who challenges the norm by singing Persian and Hebrew liturgical poems. Perhaps not so radical when you consider from the Conservative-Reform-Reconstructionist viewpoint, but women cantors are non-existent in the Persian community so this is actually a big deal.

Holy erection in the men's section, Batman!

And here is the article about one of the Persian Von Trapps.

Stop trying to make Judaism happen!

2011-09-01T15:27:00.000-04:00

A new academic year, another article about how college kids aren't interested in Judaism and how the Jewish nonprofit industrial complex is trying (and failing) to make itself seem "cool" and appeal to the youngsters who are just arriving at campuses all over the country.

"Faced with polling that suggested students often view organized Jewish life on campus as uncool or too religious, many Jewish groups began trying to shake that reputation," write two college students in the Jerusalem Post.

They cite various failed tactics including service learning trips to speed dating to post-Passover pizza parties. Basically, anything divorced from a discussion and connection to actual Judaism and religious sources is highly suspect and unsuccessful according to the authors.

I'm inclined to agree somewhat with the authors mostly because I loathe all attempts make Judaism "hip" and "cool." (I also actually cringed when I was referred to as a "cool Jew" a couple of months ago.) We are not cool -- at least, we're not cooler than any other religious traditions.

Anyway, this whole "trying to engage young Jews" endeavor often reminds me a lot of this scene in Mean Girls.

"Gretchen, stop trying to make 'fetch' happen."

In which I get to speak to an actual internet celebrity

2011-08-30T16:37:00.000-04:00

Remember Irene? The hurricane that made landfall nearly 3 days ago? I didn't think so.

Well do you remember Mayor Bloomberg tried to speak Spanish to his constituents in the lead-up to the storm? If you do, you are probably giggling right now as the memory of his awkwardly accented Spanish plays out in your mind.

As many of you Twitterratti already know, @ElBloombito has been hilariously parodying Bloomberg's well-intentioned attempts to speaks Spanish on her Twitter feed. Turns out she's actually a 25-year-old Jewyorican from Inwood named Rachel Figueroa-Levin, who graciously agreed to be interviewed by yours truly for JTA, which you can glimpse in full here.

The real victim of Irene

2011-08-29T02:07:00.000-04:00

With New Yorkers whining like little bitches about how much they were forced to do to prepare for what turned out to be a less than disastrous storm, it's important to keep in mind who are the real victims are. No, I'm not talking about the 16 people who died or the 1.5 million people who lost power or the many thousands of individuals who had to evacuate low lying, coastal areas. I'm talking about this tweeter, who overbought supplies for her favorite accessory.

P.S. I'm totally grateful that this turned out to be completely underwhelming and that a lot of the dire predictions failed to transpire. I am also pleased that the city government really planned and took all necessary precautions, even if it did mean we had to listen to Bloomberg speak Spanish. As someone who was 9 and visiting her father in Dade County when Hurricane Andrew struck (he fell asleep and I spent the night rocking back and forth, whispering Shema), I don't think hurricanes should be trifled with. My only regret about this whole weekend -- MTA service will be up and running in time for the morning commute. Huge fucking sigh.

Racialism is over

2011-08-26T12:45:00.000-04:00

Like Stephen Colbert, I don't see race when it's convenient to whatever point I'm trying to make.

This awesome track, "Post Racial America" make the same point much more eloquently. Plus it's got a hooky chorus.

Some sample lyrics:

I felt so relieved,
Martin Luther King's dream achieved.

(h/t Joe S. for posting this on Facebook)

<p>&amp;amp;lt;a href="http://aden.bandcamp.com/track/post-racial-america"&amp;amp;gt;Post Racial America by aden&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;</p>

You shook me all night long

2011-08-23T19:54:00.004-04:00

As many of you with Twitter feeds may know, the East Coast was hit by an earthquake that made everyone think they were comedians. Including me.

I wrote this piece for JTA, which wonders about the impact that the great East Coast Quake of 2011, as no one is calling it, will affect the Jews. I know this has been question on everyone's minds.

Excerpted below is my favorite part but to be honest, it's all pretty great especially since I wrote it in 30 minutes. After all, the quake will be old news by morning and this post would be lining for your virtual birdcage or litter box.

"Engagement: for the last decade or so, one of the watchwords of the Jewish nonprofit industrial complex not concerned with the problems of the 3rd world, the environment or Israel has been 'engagement,' especially when it comes to the young, unaffiliated Jews. (We know you're out there even if we know nothing about you.) Expect several service learning trips to D.C. to straighten out hanging paintings and photos, reshelve books and pick up chairs."

I'm also pretty tickled to have used the term "nonprofit industrial complex." Of course, I'm lightly mocking the hand that feeds me and pays my rent.

You can read the rest here.

And an obvious video choice:

Dirty Girls Ministries

2011-08-23T09:30:00.034-04:00

No, it's not the name of a DVD series featuring young college coeds taking off their shirts on camera to show us their breasts and show their fathers how they've grown up like in Girls Gone Wild or my personal favorite Girls With Low Self-Esteem. (Mitch Hurwitz, hurry up with the Arrested Development movie, will ya? Will Arnett deserves better than Running Wilde or Up All Night.)

Dirty Girl Ministries is an organization started by 26-year old Crystal Renaud in 2009 to help women stay clean of masturbation (among other things). She compares masturbation to alcohol abuse since like alcohol, it can feel good for a brief period of time but can end up hurting you.

How exactly? Are there potential overuse injuries? Can your vibrator give you carpal tunnel syndrome? Is treatment for vibrator induced carpal tunnel covered by most medical insurances?

From Bust magazine:

"Renaud’s advocacy is labeled antipornography, but it aims to treat all masturbation, whether it involves porn or not. When you peel back the layers, the core of her crusade is against sexual thought—even within marriage—unless those thoughts are about your husband while you are engaging in intercourse with him."

More subway thoughts

2011-08-22T19:27:00.000-04:00

So this happened today on my commute home. I was standing in the last car of the A train (having unsuccessfully waited for a C at 14th street -- three E trains passed me. Don't get me stared on the E train.) when a woman got up from her seat and moved to a different one that I hadn't previously spotted. I stood there for several minutes staring at the just vacated seat, wondering if I should sit. My thinking went something like this:

Why did this woman get up? It's not like she upgraded to a better seat. She was sitting in one of the two seaters next to a seemingly normal looking guy and she moved to the middle of a three person bench that had two others. She's not getting any extra space. Is there something wrong with that guy? He looks harmless and recently bathed. And he doesn't seem to be sitting in more than one seat. So why did she get up and move?

By the time I start coming around to the idea that the empty seat is probably perfectly fine someone else takes it and I'm forced to wait a couple of more stops before another one becomes available. Of course, I try to make it seem that I prefer standing or that I'm about to get off the train.

Am I alone in this sort of paranoia? Has anyone else let a perfectly good seat pass them by for silly, paranoid reasons?

The Blame Game

2011-08-21T17:50:00.000-04:00

Over on the gymnastics message boards (my nerdy online home), unsurprisingly the most popular topics of discussion is who is to blame for Rebecca Bross' unfortunate knee injury yesterday on vault. Top contenders include her coach, Valeri Liukin and national team coordinator, Marta Karolyi. The latter noted that Bross should've been able to do it since she competed it successfully last year, which is sort of a ludicrous thing to say. Bross hasn't looked like herself all week and according to all training reports, Valeri has been spotting her on all of her attempts. She probably shouldn't have been doing it at this competition.

I, for one, place the majority of the blame on Marta, mostly because I don't like how she has managed the team for several years now. Also, she seems to hail from the old Romanian school of overtraining and doesn't pay attention to the advances that have been made in sports science. Training smarter, not necessarily harder, is the key.

And here's a different, much more musical and lyrical version of the blame game. (Does anyone else think that Kanye West would make a hilarious national team coordinator?)

P.S. This is my 100th blog post of the year, the first time ever I've passed this mark in a single year. And it's only August. I guess it's time to take a break until next January.

Women's Nationals, Day 2

2011-08-21T11:19:00.000-04:00

Well, what started out as a great competition -- hit routines from nearly all of the athletes -- quickly became tragic as defending national champion (and world all around bronze medalist) under rotated her and dislocated her kneecap during the 3rd rotation.

It was quite shocking to see and I don't mean merely witnessing an injury like that unfold live. (In the same shocking category I would place Blaine Wilson's bicep injury at the 2004 American Cup, which also unfolded live on television.) Bross, an athlete who performed at the 2010 World Championships with a fracture without complaint and ended up winning 4 medals, cried out so viscerally with so much pain. It was quite scary to see an athlete with such a reputation for toughness crying out in such a way. (This is not at all a criticism of Bross -- I would've been weeping nonstop had it been me.) It really drove home the severity of the injury, which at least wasn't a torn ACL. Thank God for small favors. Hopefully she will be healed and ready for London because the U.S. team certainly needs her.

Onto the rest of competition. Jordyn Wieber really ran away with the meet, besting her nearest challenger, McKayla Maroney, by over 6 points, an unheard of margin. While Wieber's win was hardly a shock -- nearly everyone expected this result -- the fact that she is so far ahead of everyone else doesn't particularly bode well for the U.S. team's prospects in Tokyo. I would like to see much more parity on the team with all of the athletes competing high levels of difficulty with equally clean execution. I don't think it bodes well for a team to be so utterly reliant on one gymnast, such as Wieber. Though I don't doubt that she can handle the pressure, this girl has a history of injuries and I would like to see her get the opportunity to rest instead of having to carry this team, which seems to be the case for this year.

Shawn Johnson: so proud of this gymnast! Her confidence seems to be growing with every competitive routine. I don't think she's ready, difficulty-wise, to be put on the World team (Pan-Ams, perhaps) but whereas before I was rooting for her, now I actually really believe in this comeback. She and Chow seem to pacing themselves, keeping the long term goal in sight. I would love to see her upgrade bars so she could really contribute in that way to the team. I know that the power events are her strong ones but they are also the ones where the U.S. has a stable core of gymnasts to contribute. They are also the ones most threatened and impacted by her knee reconstruction. And bars, the U.S.'s extreme weakness, is the back way into any team.

Which brings me to Anna Li. Bross' unfortunate injury may have just created an opportunity for her. Conventional wisdom had it that Bross, a world bronze medalist on bars, probably wouldn't be ready to compete all around in Tokyo following her slow recovery from ankle injury and surgery, would most definitely be placed on the team because she is mentally tough and because the U.S. desperately needed her bars. But with her out for the rest of the year, things are looking up for Anna Li, a beautiful gymnast who resurrected her elite career after a successful run at UCLA (my favorite NCAA team). Li has an aptitude for bars and now has a set that is one of the most difficult being competed in the U.S. But that's all she has. Her beam routine is far too easy to be used in international competition, and she's proven inconsistent thus far at the elite level. There are still 6 weeks to go but I'm not enthusiastic.

Or perhaps it's the old school fan in me who never really got behind the whole specialist thing. Even Alicia Sacramone was able to contribute two events last year. I don't like the idea of taking an athlete whose weakness puts undue pressure on everyone else.

A Bronx Tale

2011-08-20T11:51:00.003-04:00

Gymnastics is not really a northeastern, big city sport. According to my very informal, unscientific analysis, I would say that the majority of elite gymnasts, both men and women, hail from the south, midwest and west coast. Basically every other part of the country except from the part which this uber fan hails from.

Which is why I'm proud to highlight some athletes that have managed to find success despite their unfortunate (for gymnastics but not anything else) geographic origins. Last week, I wrote about Aly Raisman, who lives outside of Boston (where she is saddled with the Red Sox). And now I bring you John Orozco from Soundview in the Bronx. He just finished 3rd at the men's national championships, a year after rupturing his Achilles tendon. This is the first senior medal for the former three time junior national champion.

Here he is competing earlier this year in Japan:

Thoughts on Women's National Championships, Day 1

2011-08-19T09:00:00.002-04:00

Last evening I rushed home from yoga (thereby negating any relaxing effect the practice might've had) to watch the women's preliminaries at the national championships and boy, did they disappoint.

Well -- kindasortofmaybe.

It's hard for me to be truly disappointed when there is new, live gymnastics streaming on my computer. I am always grateful for the online resources because unlike some younger fans of the sport, I remember a time when prelims were never televised and gymnastics in general was broadcast only two times a year -- nationals and worlds. I lived for those two competitions and recorded them so I could relive them every other weekend of the year. The kids these days, they're all spoiled with their YouTube.

Anyway, I'm going to stop grousing like a curmudgeonly old man for a moment to give you some of my unorganized thoughts about Day 1:

Aly Raisman: very proud of this gymnast and her excellent floor set. She is not the most polished athlete (toes and knees could certainly use some work) but her difficulty is great on this apparatus and her new "Hava Nagila" routine really works for her. In fact, it was shockingly one of the better choreographed and performed floor routines of the meet. I say shocking because Aly herself has admitted that is not so comfortable dancing. But her routine, unlike most, includes real dance, real movement across the mat, instead of just a series of choppy poses that seem to pay no mind to the music. Oh, and she cutely mentioned her Jewish background when questioned about the music in the post meet interview. (She also mentioned that she has committed to the University of Florida for her NCAA career. I'm sure she will be very happy and successful there but this will certainly make her stand out among pretentious Northeast Jews should she choose to move to New York post-college.)

Shawn Johnson: I've always been a fan of hers. Though she may not have been elegant like Nastia, I appreciated her flawless technique and her consistency. Watching her reminded me of watching Shannon Miller -- you could relax and feel safe in the knowledge that she would hit.

Well, that Shawn is not back just yet. She seems to be nervous and jumpy, which is now how I feel watching her. But tonight she was uber consistent and showed signs of returning to her former consistent form (hopefully with a lot of added difficulty). And I must say, I've been so impressed with her interviews, which betray intelligence, good humor and humility. Even one friend, who admitted to favoring Nastia in 2004-2008 era has admitted that she is now really rooting for Shawn.

Jordyn Wieber: She had some uncharacteristic errors but I believe she will be fine. In fact, I'm glad to see she is not peaking here at nationals with worlds nearly 2 months away. And as the aforementioned friend said, "Jordyn's muscles have muscles." Madonna would be proud. Or jealous?

Favorite comment of the night: This one from John Roethlisberger (you know I had to cut and paste his last name from elsewhere), referring to Mackenzie Caquatto's heavily taped foot: "It looks like she's wearing an Ugg on her right foot." Well done sir. And if this competition were being held in Los Angeles, she'd pair that Ugg with a denim mini.

And finally...why nationals?

As I watched gymnast after gymnast fall and listened to the commentators (who incidentally didn't make me want to shoot myself in the face tonight -- I actually liked John and Elfi kept her inane comments to a minimum for once) talk about the need for good bar routines since the U.S. team is very weak on the event, I couldn't help but wonder -- why do we even bother holding national championships anymore?

With two months to go before the world championships in Tokyo, none of the gymnasts are really in peak condition (which is wise). This was obvious from the all of the falls. Nearly every gymnast had at least one major break. Several had more than one.

Furthermore, the results from nationals don't determine the team because straight all around results really don't matter that much anymore. We know that the U.S. needs a strong bar worker so in theory, a gymnast who had a disaster on floor or vault or beam but has a stellar uneven bar set can still make the team.

So if the gymnasts aren't in peak shape and the placements sort of don't matter other than to prove to Marta Karolyi that you can mentally hang tough then why are we still bothering with this whole shebang? After all, the worlds team going to get decided at a training camp at the Karolyi ranch in Texas behind closed doors. So what's with the big public display? When I asked this question to a knowledgeable party, she immediately responded, "$$$$$," which makes sense. They don't call it the Visa Championships because the gymnasts are trying to navigate the bureaucracy to get documents to travel to foreign country. (Sorry -- that pun took a bit too long to set up.)

But why do we not compete the girls internationally more in small meets and use their scores from those competitions to select teams, just as the Romanians did very successfully did in 2004? Why do we use this grueling system of competitions that don't matter and camps that usually result in at least one in injury to a top gymnast to select the team? Why are other teams smarter about their selection process?

In a word: depth. While other teams have lost their depth and need to train and compete their star athletes in a smarter fashion, the U.S., at least on the women's side, still has incredible depth, which allows Marta Karolyi to do what amounts to fraternity hazing in some instances and run the athletes through a grueling, pointless, secretive selection process.

Or maybe I'm just being bitter because the selection process is not televised and will never be shown on YouTube.

How Orthodox Jews are covered: the Yaldah edition

2011-08-18T09:00:00.004-04:00

In another episode of “Let’s see what the Orthodox Jews are up to,” yesterday in Tablet, Irin Carmon writes about Yaldah, a wholesome magazine for young Jewish girls and adolescents that was started by Leah Caras when she was just 13 years old. Caras, now 20 and married, talks about the reasons she created the magazine and the appeal it holds for more traditionally observant young Jewish women.

It is mostly a profile piece about Caras and the magazine, and despite the author’s journalistic experience (she’s a writer for Jezebel), she fails to ask any major critical questions of Caras or Yaldah.

This uncritical stance is not particular to Carmon. She is not at all singular in this regard. I find that most of the writing that is done about the Orthodox across the entire religious spectrum tends to fetishize the group in one of two ways: either it presents them as backward and corrupt or glorifies them as more quaint and wholesome than the rest of us. The reporting rarely falls in the middle where the reality tends to exist. Either way, reading many of these pieces feels akin to staring at the animals in a zoo, whether one is “oohing” and “aahing” over the adorable polar bears or recoiling from snakes in the reptile house.

This article is an example of the former “aren’t they quaint” subgenre. It simply lays out Caras’ and the viewpoint of Yaldah, barely challenging either in any way. While there are a few observations that this particular magazine is skirting tricky issues of adolescence (“Puberty, with its attendant joys and discontents, is delicately avoided,” Carmon writes), there is no questioning the results of this avoidance, namely this: what does it mean to be a yeshiva girl who doesn’t receive sex education at school and gleans most of what she knows about the topic from magazines (as I did with Sassy) and television?

What also seem to be missing from this account are reactions from readers who are not involved in the magazine’s production. In addition, this sounds like a magazine that a mother would buy for her daughter instead of one that the girls’ themselves choose to subscribe to. I suppose there is no way to know who is filling out the slips and mailing in the checks but given how unified parents and teens seem to be during what is typically a fractious time for the two groups (“Sometimes parents and children seem so united in the pages of the magazine that it’s hard to tell the difference between them,” Carmon notes), it is least worthwhile to ask the question.

And finally, is Yaldah being read as part of a much larger magazine and media diet? I’d venture to say that it is. After all, at the same time that I was reading Seventeen during my own Orthodox girlhood, I was also checking out The B.Y. Times from my yeshiva’s library. (For those of you not acquainted with the wonders of this fiction series, it was about young yeshiva girls who run their school newspaper. Tribulations and Torah lessons ensue.)

Obviously, it is a lot to expect a secular journalist to delve into the particulars of Jewish law and culture in order to present a more complicated, nuanced picture of the lifestyle and community, but I would argue that it should be the task of any Jewish publication that regularly writes about this population to go beyond fetishizing it, whether for good or for bad. Just as the tension free picture of adolescence painted in Yaldah is highly improbable, so too is the veracity of an article that explores only the Little House on the Prairie-esque side of Orthodox Jewish girlhood.

Shmuley Boteach's ego

2011-08-17T13:44:00.005-04:00

Here's a little excerpt from Shmuley Boteach's most recent article in the Los Angeles Jewish Journal, which is about what he thinks Birthright needs to do to move forward:

I knew of Birthright at it conception. It’s co-founder, Michael Steinhardt, was sharing with me the scope of the idea as he traveled with Charles Bronfman around the United States raising large sums to get the idea off the ground. (italics mine)

Maybe I'm being overly critical (wouldn't be the first time) but there's something about him inserting himself into the beginnings of Birthright that unnecessarily smacks of ego.

An exercise in self-indulgence

2011-08-16T13:03:00.004-04:00

The best part of being a writer is getting to spend time researching things I'm obsessed with under the guise of "work." Mostly this has meant writing articles about Judaism and hip hop. But sometimes I get to get to research my first and truest love -- gymnastics.

Fortunately for me, my editor at JTA has been indulgent of my crazy ideas and actually let me write an article about the use of Hava Nagila in floor routines since Aly Raisman, who is Jewish, just started using the music in her exercise. I spoke to Aly on the phone after a Friday afternoon practice and she was unfailingly gracious and humble. I'll be rooting for her at Nationals this weekend.

I also interviewed Professor James Loeffler, who has written about the origins of Hava Nagila. He was kind enough to watch the routines I sent him before we spoke and was therefore able to comment very intelligently on Hava as it relates to gymnastics.

Here is the article, which is now up on JTA. And wait -- there's more! An annotated video slideshow.

Sometimes my life is awesome.

The five stages of waiting for the C train

2011-08-15T21:07:00.009-04:00

I live right along the A/C line in Brooklyn, but unfortunately for me, the express A skips right past my local stop, which means I am forced to wait for the C at the dreary Hoyt-Schermerhorn stop. (That's spelled correctly -- I checked.) This maybe an urban legend but I've heard that living at an A stop actually adds twenty years onto your life. Even if it isn't, it certainly feels true.

Anyway, at this juncture in Brooklyn, the A and C run along the same track, which means that when I get off the express, I am forced to look down the same tunnel for my train. And this is when I go through the MTA's equivalent of the Kubler-Ross model for the five stages of grief.

1. Denial: You haven't been here so long, I tell myself as I pace the back end of the platform. Since I probably didn't look at the time when I disembarked from the A, I try to measure in iPod song time. It hasn't even been one song, I think. Remember, you didn't let that last one finish so it hasn't been more than 4 minutes. I promptly skip the next song halfway through to preserve this line of reasoning a little longer.

2. Anger: I feel this emotion coming on when I see lights in the tunnel and get excited only to realize that it is yet another A train. "Fuck," I audibly mouth. I just stepped off an A -- the next one should be a C! It is only fair that they should alternate. The pattern should be A-C-A-C.

Except that it's actually more like this: A-A-A-C. I feel my blood pressure rise as the A slides into the station and the conductor announces that the next stop will be Nostrand. It rises even higher when the train after that one is yet another A. It is not unheard of for this to happen a third time consecutively. God, why do you hate me so?

3. Bargaining: If the C comes within the next two minutes, I think, I will give a dollar to the next homeless person who enters my subway car between now and home. (Of course, I'm only taking a small chance that I will have to shell out because at this point in my commute, a homeless person has got only two stops to get to my dollar bill before I exit. Also, it's highly unlikely I'm carrying any cash.) I also sometimes promise to stop hating subway mariachi bands so much. I even offer to stop sticking pins into my mariachi band voodoo dolls.

4. Depression: At this point, I can no longer fool myself as to how long I've been standing and waiting. My iPod trick no longer works after more than twenty minutes of waiting. I start hating myself for not walking the twenty five minutes between the express stop and my apartment.

5. Acceptance: Fine, I think, as I run to the middle of the parallel facing platform. A G has pulled into station. You win, God. I'll take the fucking G home and walk two blocks.

In which I ask an important pop culture question

2011-08-11T17:04:00.002-04:00

In a post on JTA's "The Telegraph" I ask (in Morse code!) the burning question that has been on everyone's mind since the remake of Dirty Dancing was announced -- will the new one be as Jewy as the original?

What is certain is that if Kenny Ortega, who choreographed the dances in the original and was just named as the director of the remake, attempts to re-create the story in the original cultural milieu, he's going to have to make it very Jewish because "Dirty Dancing" is one of Jew-iest movies of all time.

Whatever happens with the new film, at least we've got this "remake" from Conan O'Brien and the late Jerry Orbach:

Fundamentalism for everyone!

2011-08-09T20:45:00.004-04:00

Related to yesterday's post about the harassment and arrest of gentile hikers in the Satmar enclave of Kiryas Joel, this excellent article in Zeek makes a strong argument that Jewish fundamentalists (i.e. Haredim) are not all that different from their Christian and Islamic counterparts and their limited impact is not the result of some mythic "live and let live attitude." Rather it's because of limited numbers.

Like Christian and Islamic fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists are not content to lead their faux-19th-century lives without disturbing the rest of us. It’s a myth that Jews are somehow more “live and let live” than Christians or Jews. A few months ago in New York, the Agudath Israel of America – part of the world’s largest haredi political organization – organized massive phone and email campaigns against same-sex marriage. Never mind that what happens in secular state law is of no halachic significance, and that the law exempted religious organizations from having to obey it. And this was just the latest attempt of fundamentalists to coerce a wider society to adopt their reactionary values. Just like Christian “Intelligent Design” advocates, anti-reproductive-choice activists, and, yes, sharia-obeying Islamic radicals, Jewish fundamentalists are compelled by their fundamentalism not only to live backward lives themselves – but to attempt to get the rest of us to do the same.

The rest of this great article can be read here.

In Kiryas Joel, our tax dollars hard at work

2011-08-08T23:30:00.004-04:00

So this happened in Kiryas Joel. After 5 non-Jewish hikers were accosted by a Satmar or so-called "village constable" for taking photos of government buildings where you apparently can be arrested for failing to provide identification after they were seen taking photos of government buildings. When they refused to provide identification to the Hasid, the state police were called to investigate and they were arrested. But thankfully, they managed to catch the whole exchange on camera (it is excerpted below in the news report).

My favorite detail: they were detained in Yossi's Restaurant.

UPDATE: Many thanks to a friend who posted this link to Gothamist that goes into greater detail about what happened. This article reveals that a lawsuit had already been filed against KJ for being in violation of the Establishment Clause of the constitution. The suit contends that "the Village of Kiryas Joel is a theocracy." Oh indeed. Please hikers, sue them and strip them of their air conditioned bus stops and all of the other goodies our tax dollars provide.

A conversion reality show?

2011-08-04T11:31:00.002-04:00

As many of who care about such things might know, the latest Bachelorette, Ashley, has chosen a nice Jewish boy to wed. And it seems that she will begin the arduous process of conversion which means that ABC will have to wait at least a year to televise her wedding to JP.

The Jew-lebrity blog, Six Degrees No Bacon (get it? get it?) suggests an interesting way to fill dead airtime between now and the blessed chuppah -- a conversion reality program.

ABC should film her conversion to Judaism from first bagel to dunk in the mikvah. It will certainly be more interesting than The Hills ever was.

Pregnant on Facebook

2011-08-01T15:10:00.005-04:00

There's a new way for ladies to exact revenge on a guy who blew them off after sex. Thanks to the folks over at Facebook, who are always coming up with novel ways for us to share our private lives publicly, you now have the option of listing your unborn child under the "family" tab. While I prefer not to find out until my friends post their requisite belly shots, I must admit this feature is tempting to fiddle with after a night of what was (at least for him) meaningless sex.

(h/t The Frisky)

I'd enjoy imagining the look on his face when he signs on and sees that you're now "expecting" a child. That's one way to get him to call you. Or never pick up your calls. I guess it could go either way.

3 Rules for Casual Sex

2011-07-28T16:50:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I wrote a post about the lies that the rom-com genres tell us. But they sometimes do tell us the truth. This post by Shimon Peres-Hilton, a Jewish blogger, has distilled three rules for Jewish women wishing to have casual, no strings sex from the two recent films, Friends With Benefits and No Strings Attached, which star our favorite Jewesses of the moment, Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman, respectively.

Here's an iota of the wisdom contained therein about the importance of having a great, rollicking career in order to have casual sex:

If they weren’t [successful], this would be viewed as merely pathetic, as we were expected to see Kristen Wiig’s tryst with Jon Hamm in “Bridesmaids.” Her character was broke, living with creepy roommates and working at a terrible job (until she’s fired). Add to that mixture casual sex with a cad and you’ve got one woman scraping the bottom of the barrel (but at least that barrel was lined with Jon Hamm!). So women, fling away but only if everything else in your life is completely under control.

The rest can be read here.

Goebbels and Me

2011-07-28T12:50:00.004-04:00

Well it has finally happened. I've been compared to Goebbels, the famous Nazi propaganda minister! This did not stem from an article I wrote about Israel cause I have little interest in real news and am suffering from Israel fatigue, anyway. No, what inspired such ire and comparison to Goebbels was my piece in Tablet about Amy Winehouse.

I'm not particularly troubled by his misguided comparison -- I'm actually rather tickled by it. His logic is as follows -- one who is distant from her "Jewish" values is like a Nazi, who is also quite distant from Jewish values. I understand that this is yet another proof of Godwin's Law, which states: "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches (100%)."

But what does trouble me is his attitude towards women. The reader, Aaron S. takes issue with Natalie Portman, calling her a "slut" for having premarital sex. Hey Aaron S.-- no slut shaming on my article!

Here is the comment in all of its misogynistic glory:

Aaron S. says:
Jul 25, 2011 at 5:43 PM

This article reveals how far removed liberal Jews are from Judaism. Natalie Portman is anything but a nice Jewish girl. She is a slut. She not only had a child out of wedlock – the father is not even Jew! She gave birth to a bastard. Some nice Jewish girl.

As for Amy Winehouse – some role model. She is a shtick of drek.

It would be nice to have writers with Jewish values writing about Jewish values. The writer of this article is so far removed from her Jewish roots that this article might as well have been written by Josef Geobbels. He also would have admired self-destructive Jewish behavior.

Lies Romantic Comedies Tell Us

2011-07-27T12:49:00.004-04:00

Last night I went to see Friends With Benefits, a pretty funny (no, really!) romantic comedy about guy+girl+friendship+sex that predictably led to a relationship. The leads are played by Justin Timberlake, who can do no wrong, and Mila Kunis, best known as Jackie from That 70s Show and the hot chick that made out with Natalie Portman in Black Swan. (Mila is Jewish, which is why it works on this site.)

As I already mentioned, the movie was thoroughly enjoyable. The dialogue was snappy and mostly funny. I even learned a new phrase that I will use and forever cherish -- "twat block" -- but I do want to call out FWB for perpetuating a myth that can be found in all romantic comedies. No, I am not referring to the unlikely union of the two leads at the end. (Unlikely if it was reality instead of a movie that is.)

My issue is the easy sleep that the woman (in this case, Kunis' Jamie) falls into after having sex with Timberlake. I know that I don't speak for all women but after doing an informal survey of my friends, almost all agree that they rarely fall asleep easily or deeply with a new/different body in the bed. What I would like to see for once onscreen is that after sex, the guy passing out (as is often the case) and the girl tossing and turning until you finally settle into an uneasy sleep, waking up groggily a few hours to see him creep out of bed to find his pants. That's what I want to see in the next rom-com I go to.

Amy, Amy, Amy

2011-07-26T15:26:00.002-04:00

As everyone knows by now, Amy Winehouse passed away over the weekend from what appears to be a drug overdose (though the toxicology reports will not completed for at least another 2-4 weeks). And as many of my regular readers know, I was a huge fan of Ms. Winehouse -- performing her songs at nearly every karaoke party I attended, dressing up as her for Jewlloween (aka Purim) and writing a 3,000 word story about her bad ass for Tablet.

While I didn't have a whole new piece in me since the one published in April had everything I could muster including the kitchen sink, I did update and adapt that article for JTA (Jewish Telegraph Agency) with some new insights. Here is an excerpt:

I had become an instant fan of the singer almost from my first listen to “Back to Black” in 2007, Winehouse’s second and now final album. At first, like many others, I was very taken by the ballsy track “Rehab,” where she famously rejected the help she so clearly needed. Yet at the time of the track’s release, she hadn’t yet spiraled out of control. Her refusal seemed as much a denial of her alcohol and substance abuse problems as an aversion to the type of image rehab that many actors, singers and politicians are forced to undergo in order to make them more palatable to the general public.

The rest can be read here.

And here's, "Amy, Amy, Amy" from her first album.

Tattooed in the Times

2011-07-20T22:15:00.002-04:00

This Shabbos at shul, a rabbi-friend (who is the blogger over at Frost and Clouds, which you should definitely check out if you're in the mood for something more enlightening than this site) told me that the New York Times was looking for people to submit photos of their tattoos. I just want to note that I am particularly pleased that the rabbis I know would actually encourage me to exhibit my tattoo in an even more public way.

Anyway, I did as he suggested but didn't think the photo would make it up on the site since it's an awful picture. But it was the only one I had so I just went with it. After a few hours, I promptly forgot about the whole thing.

That is until tonight when another inked friend alerted me to presence in the slideshow. I'm number 118 of 153 pictures submitted though most of the others' tattoos are more artistic (and certainly more artistically photographed) than mine. But I don't think any of the others linked to their 1,000+ word article of rationalization, which appeared in Tablet Magazine. Yes, most other people have a little dignity.

Spell It Right

2011-07-20T09:00:00.007-04:00

As I was riding home on the subway last night, I came across this passage in Sloane Crosley's hilarious essay collection I Was Told There'd Be Cake, which my building's book fairy left in the mail room. (Thank you book fairy whoever you are!) Ms. Crosley was doing a tally of various things that happen as a result of having an unusual name. (In her case, Sloane.) This particular part resonated with me:

Number of times I have received an email with my name spelled incorrectly in response to an email originating from me and therefore making use of the correct spelling of my name and thus have passive-aggressively retaliated by leaving off the last letter of the sender's name in all future correspondence: 32. "Thanks for getting back to me, Rebecc."

Like Ms. Crosley, my name is somewhat unusual, not in the religious community where I grew up but in the more secular sphere I now inhabit. In addition, my parents chose an atypical spelling of my first name -- "Dvora" instead of the more common "Devorah" or "Devora." As a result, I don't get too riled up when someone spells my name incorrectly. I'm usually just happy if the person can pronounce it correctly. But like Sloane, I do find it rather odd when I initiate an email correspondence and the person spells my name incorrectly in the response. Don't you see how I signed it? I wonder. Or more simply -- look at my email address. It's spelled properly there.

Same puzzlement goes for Facebook messages no matter who they originate with. It is very easy to see how to spell my name since you had to click on my profile or select my name from the list in order to send it. And yet I get many that begin this way: Dear Devorah. How hard is it to look one centimeter above your message to see how I've elected to spell my name? No matter how frustrating/amusing this is, I haven't retaliated as Sloane has by adding an "e" or "h" to people's name though her essay puts me in mind to start.

But "correcting" the spelling of my name predates email and Facebook. It goes all the way back to nursery school. Like any four year old, I was proud that I could write my name and proudly showed off to my teacher, who proceeded to correct me. While I handle this just fine as an adult, four-year-old me when she got home and showed my mother what my teacher had done. My mother sent in a note with me, explaining to my teachers that "this is how we've chosen to spell Dvora's name."

So if you're sending me messages via email, Facebook or any other place where my name is plain as day, please try and spell it right or I'll have to get my mother to send you a strongly worded note! (And this note will arrive via snail mail since she doesn't own a computer.)

What does Howard Stern have in common with Orthodox rabbis?

2011-07-19T11:14:00.005-04:00

Pants -- and the fact that neither like to see women wearing them.

Stern, who was interviewing Lady Gaga on his show this morning on his show, said this, obviously in response to whatever Gaga was wearing (or wasn't wearing) in the studio. "I've often said that I think most women should not wear pants," Howard Stern said to her. Who woulda thunk that Mr. Stern was so damn conservative?

Of course, Stern doesn't want to replace the pants with anything so this is where he parts ways with rabbinic tradition. (Okay, I guess I'm really grasping for a blog post.)

This is so much more modest than pants
(photo by Nelyfus)

Donald Rumsfeld and I have something in common

2011-07-15T11:32:00.002-04:00

No, it's not the desire to kill terrorists. Nor have we both swapped palm sweat with ruthless dictators (unless you count that time I met Oprah at a frozen yogurt shop in Los Angeles). What the former Secretary of Defense and I have in common is titanium.

It apparently takes Rumsfeld a little longer to go through airport security than other mere mortals. "It takes those of us with two titanium hips and a titanium shoulder a bit longer to get through TSA," he commented. Here's a photo from TMZ of Rumsfeld getting a full pat down.

I have a titanium rod with screws running two thirds of my spine yet I rarely run into trouble at airports. When I walk through the scanners, nothing goes off. Though there was one time I did get "full-service" at the checkpoint. I had no jewelry or belt on, no change in my pocket -- nothing that would alert the sensors. Yet I still kept beeping. The female guard whispered, "Are you wearing an underwire?" I bet Rumsfeld never hears that question.

I shook my head. "Don't you think that if I was wearing an underwire they'd appear a little bigger?" I joked. She didn't look convinced and I was afraid she was going to tell me to take my bra off to prove it so I told her about the titanium in my spine. Without checking to see if I was telling the truth, she waved me through.

A Tale of Two Israelis

2011-07-13T21:00:00.002-04:00

Which would you prefer -- college or kollel (which is where post secondary unmarried and married men spend the whole day studying religious studies)? In Israel, the choice doesn't simply mean a difference in study subject matter. It also means a difference in state funding. Many ultra-Orthodox accept government welfare subsidies in lieu of working since they are spending all day studying Torah while the less religiously inclined need to find jobs (and through their taxes fund the so-called "scholars). This YouTube video designed to look like the old school video games in the tradition of Super Mario Bros. takes us through the lives of a secular Israeli and his haredi counterpart.

(h/t Tablet Magazine)

I'm so glad that nothing like that happens in the U.S. I mean, it's not like we subsidize religious communities and people who don't seem inclined to go to college and find proper jobs. Oh wait, we do. Hello Kiryas Joel.

Summer Responds

2011-07-12T19:06:00.002-04:00

A few days ago, I tried unsuccessfully to mimic the Onion's fake news article style with my accusations that the weather is anti-Semitic. Well, today the weather in the guise of "Summer" has its say in the Onion. Summer comes off not so much anti-Semitic as pervy.

Don't be modest. I can see you're wearing a tank top under there, so why don't you go ahead and take off that bulky shirt of yours? Come on, it's natural. Nobody's looking over here anyway. It's just you and me. Other than heatstroke, dehydration, and certain types of skin cancers, you're safe with me, baby. So just relax.

That's it. That's real nice. Just peel that thing right off. Do it slowly. Can you feel me against your body? Feels good, doesn't it? The heat. A pretty little thing like you shouldn't be hiding your body. And by the looks of those tan arms and shoulders, I can tell you've done this before, so why hold back now? That's right, just like that. Why don't you lie down in that chair and let me take a good look at you?

Summer is taking a direct approach similar to the one used in The Donnas video for Take It Off, which I cannot seem to embed but here is the link to the music video. What ever happened to the Donnas anyway?

NYC Weather is Anti-Semitic

2011-07-09T17:56:00.004-04:00

In a surprising move, the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) has filed suit against the muggy front that has overtaken New York City, claiming that it is "bad for the Jews' hair."

Though Jews come in all shapes and sizes and their hair in array of textures, thick and curly predominates. This hair type doesn't react well with moisture in the air as it tends to expand exponentially, which has given rise to the Jewfro.

Look at what the anti-Semitic weather did to Jacob Ben Israel.

In fact, some Jews even have to flee the metropolitan area over the summer and live in bungalows and shacks instead of the comfortable homes they own in the city and outer boroughs just to escape the stickiness.

"If this continues," one Jewish New York woman complained, "my hair will grow to be as large as Amy Winehouse's beehive. And then I will get addicted to crack and all of my teeth will fall out. Then who will marry me?"

In response, Abe Foxman has accused the late spring through early fall weather of being anti-Semitic for its disproportionate impact on Jewish appearance. "While this affects other people who have similarly coarse and thick hair, it should be plain to all that the humidity affects Jews in greater numbers than it does the general population, which is why we have gotten involved." He also indicated that if successful against Big Weather, they might pursue Big Nature and springtime for pollen and spores.

The Weather, when reached for comment, insisted that it is not about Jews per se. "It's simply that Jews tend to live in coastal cities, which are more humid. But rest assured, when global warming comes and the sea levels rise, we won't distinguish between Jew and Gentile."

Now I have no more excuses

2011-07-08T19:27:00.004-04:00

This is a video posted by Adam Starr, a gymnast who lost his leg to cancer two years ago. This clip shows him back in the gym for the first time since that happened.

This is the kind of video I needed to watch after spending most of last night's breaking practice sitting on my ass in McCarren Park talking to anyone and everyone so I wouldn't have to dance. This kid is doing stand back tucks to one leg. That's amazing. You know I don't use sincerity lightly on this blog (or ever) but he is really inspirational.

Aleph

2011-07-06T15:37:00.004-04:00

The first letter of the Hebrew alphabet and now also the name of arguably one of the most famous Jewish infants in the world -- Natalie Portman's son.

Oh Natalie, I expected more from you. You are sophisticated and intelligent and have probably chortled at some of the more ridiculous baby names that have come out of Hollywood in recent years (Apple anyone? Kal El?) You probably told yourself, "I'd never do that to my child." And yet here we are, discussing this name, which will become the bane of your son's existence if you choose to enroll him in Hebrew school. And if this is what Natalie Portman comes up with, what hope can we hold out that our other Jewish goddess, Amy Winehouse will be able to name her child something normal if she accidentally gets knocked up? We should already start preparing ourselves for some liquor or blow inspired first name.

Of course, the Israeli born, Hebrew fluent Portman (aka Herschlag) has earned the right to give her a child this sort of name since we know that she understands the language and what she's doing. And "Aleph" does have one advantage over the English equivalent "A,"which is more than one syllable.

Yet despite the ludicrousness of the "Aleph," I must thank Portman for forcing People magazine to research the name so thoroughly that they came up with this:

Its esoteric meaning in Judaic Kabbalah, as denoted in the theological treaty Sefer-ha-Bahir, relates to the origin of the universe, the "primordial one that contains all numbers."

Who would've ever expected to see word "sefer" much less the whole phrase "Sefer ha Bahir" on a gossip website? First century sage who wrote the book -- I bet you're wishing you hadn't been so anonymous after all. You could've gotten quoted in People.

Mixed Dancing

2011-07-04T18:26:00.003-04:00

And from separate seating, we go to mixed dancing, which we all know is the direct result of premarital sex. Or is it sex standing up? I always mess that joke up. Anyway, this time the "mixed" refers to different types of dancing, not commingling of the genders (though there is some of that, too). When I was last in Los Angeles, I participated in a short dance film shoot, directed and choreographed by the talented Amy "Catfox" Campion. It was really fun for me as a writer to pretend to be a real dancer for half a day. (I also got to wear a lot of eye makeup that took several tries to remove.)

The short is called "Pursuit" and features several types of dance, including breaking and salsa. I am only in the breaking scene. It was made for the site www.DancesMadeToOrder.com, where the full video is available for a small fee.

I can't post the full video but I can promise you that in it you see at least 20 seconds of yours truly. Here is the trailer where I appear ever so briefly in blinding red and orange.

Separate Seating

2011-07-04T00:33:00.002-04:00

Another day, another story about increasing gender segregation in Israel. I wish I could get worked up over this article in Haaretz about a new "tradition" (if it's new is it really yet a tradition?) of having separate seating at meals in private homes. Most of the article concerns itself with the particulars of the seating arrangements of Gur Hasidim, who are the most extreme of the ultra-Orthodox when it comes to the separation between the sexes and I won't trouble you with commentary on those details. But I have pulled a couple of quotes that I find particularly illuminating:

Hebrew University lecturer Dr. Benjamin Brown, who specializes in Jewish philosophy and the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community, notes: "In the Gur Hasidic community, measures are taken to ensure that there is no mutual understanding between men and women, even between husband and wife." (Italics mine.)

How true this is. While I have never put it this way myself, this is exactly what segregation accomplishes, aside from oppression and humiliation -- the total lack of mutual understanding. As the opportunities for meaningful contact between the sexes decreases as more and more public and private space is segregated, the disconnect between the genders will widen.

One Litvak (Lithuanian) ultra-Orthodox Jew was not pleased about the spread of fundamentalism to his community had this to say:

In D.'s opinion, separate tables or seating women at the far end of the table or in the kitchen is a symptom of the oppression of women. "When the women are sent to eat in the kitchen, the young boys in the family learn to treat women with contempt," she notes.

I feel like similar statements can be made when it comes to sending women to the other side of the mechitza. Perhaps this does not garner them the same contempt but it certainly doesn't win them any respect as from the men in the community.

Convert Camp

2011-07-03T10:39:00.003-04:00

Last night I was at an impromptu house party in Brooklyn where I was briefly sharing some camp anecdotes, referring to the Camp Sternberg video I posted here a few weeks back and my clash with camp administration over my failure to sometimes wear socks while going to and from the swimming pool. Anyway, this prompted one of the guests in attendance, a woman who had converted to Judaism to marry her husband, to tell us about her crazy camp dream -- Convert Camp.

As many people over the years have noted, it seems like most American Jews go to some kind of sleepaway camp at some point in their lives and it is a very important part of the Jewish socialization process. And, as this woman pointed out, camp is where Jews learn all of the songs, tunes and liturgy that most will use throughout their adult lives. She feels that she needs a camp experience of her own simply to learn all these songs and traditions and assimilate into the Jewish mainstream.

This sounded like a brilliant idea the second she mentioned it. Why hasn't anyone yet done this? I mean, the Jewish community invests in some very silly projects all for the sake of continuity and engagement, trying to get youths who only grudgingly want to participate or are only looking for a trip to Israel or somewhere else. Why not provide an opportunity for converts or Jews by choice to have an experience that would help them acclimate to the Jewish community? Convert Camp totally needs to happen.

In honor of Canada Day

2011-07-01T17:54:00.002-04:00

And because I can't get/afford tickets to see The Book of Mormon, here is an excerpt from Trey Parker and Matt Stone's first musical masterpiece, which was about foisting blame onto our neighbors to the north.

Confession!

2011-06-30T21:41:00.004-04:00

Today I finally told my mother I had gotten a tattoo.

How did she not know, you might be wondering, since all of you who sometimes read this blog or Tablet or are friends with me on Facebook know about my bumble bee etching. Well, my mother doesn't know how to use a computer. (Today as she sat in front of my laptop to read an essay of mine that I had wanted her to see, I had to hover nearby to press the "PgDn" key for her. True story.)

While I may joke that I am a Luddite since I have yet to purchase a smart phone, my mother actually is one though I don't think she stands her ground on principle as much as fear that if she presses the wrong button the computer will self-destruct. Anyway, as a writer who reveals a lot about her personal life online, my mother's handicap has freed me to reveal way too much.

Which brings us back to the tattoo. Since she would never happen up on the Tablet article or my Facebook photo album nor was she inclined to glance down at my ankle though I have worn many short dresses and short shorts in front of her since spring/summer began, I felt like I had to say something. Just as I did when I asked her to give me my chuppah money for my student loans, I sat her down in a coffee shop. "I've got bad news," I began then hedging slightly, I added, "Well it's not really so bad. I mean, you may not like it but I'm not dying or anything." Deep breath. "I got a tattoo," I finally told her.

Now cue to my shock to her total lack of shock or abhorrence. She asked to see it and then said, "It's pretty but did it hurt?" she asked. I recounted nearly passing out because it hurt so much, which I had expected. But what I hadn't expected was how painless this conversation was turning out to be. If she was at all upset, she hid it exceptionally well, which I don't think is the case since no one in my family knows how to hide any sort of emotion, especially distress or anger. "I really like it," she declared after taking a second look. "Did you really think I would be so upset?" she asked me. I nodded. What I didn't tell her was why I was thought she'd be so upset, that I thought she'd see this permanent mark on my body as a sign that I was "off the derech" (off the path) in permanent, irreversible way and that the symbolism of it all would crush her.

Perhaps she already recognized this. Or perhaps I was reading far too much into this tattoo. Maybe it is just as she said it was -- just pretty.

The one where I get to quote Donald Glover

2011-06-30T09:42:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I love what I do and this is one of those moments. I was watching Donald Glover (Troy on Community) stand-up comedy on YouTube when I saw this bit (around 1:00) in which the Jehovah Witness reared comedian talks about what he's learned about Jewish summer camp. And the Holocaust. Yes, those two formative events go together like peas and carrots.

After I stopped laughing at this ridiculous notion -- camp and the Holocaust -- I started to recall how my own camp invoked the Holocaust on Tisha B'Av and wondered if other camps of the non-super frum variety also brought up the tragedy in otherwise idyllic mountain retreats. The result of late night Donald Glover and my daydreaming -- today's article in Tablet, Camp Lessons.

B-girl Fingerz

2011-06-24T23:34:00.003-04:00

A few years ago I posted a video of myself using my fingers to do gymnastics. (You can watch it here in all of its embarrassing glory.) Fortunately, you will all be spared my attempt to do the same with breaking since someone else has gotten there first. Her video features much higher production values, props and a soundtrack.

Tefillin To The Rescue!

2011-06-16T12:41:00.004-04:00

This article from a few days ago in the Jerusalem Post discusses an annoying outreach ploy -- sending text messages to Israeli members of Knesset (parliament) and their staffers, reminding them to put on tefillin (phylacteries -- this word is by no means a helpful translation. What the fuck is a phylactery?) and hasten the redemption. The group calls itself "Light For Tefillin." I personally get a kick out of people who think that the world's ills can be cured in one fell swoop -- whether the remedy is "moshiach" or "rapture" or "colonizing Mars." And I'm always amused when certain rituals are designated as magical. For example, I learned as a child that if all Jews observed one more Sabbath together then moshiach would surely come. But at least Sabbath is an egalitarian ritual -- both men and women can hasten redemption by keeping it. But tefillin? Since the group that is sending out the crazy messages is Orthodox and doesn't think women should use tefillin lest we get our menstrual cooties all over them, does this mean that only men -- the "proper" users of phylacteries -- will be the only ones redeemed? That would decimate the Upper West Side dating scene.

Anyway these texts are far more annoying than the ones you get about reducing your credit card debt. Why? Because they arrive at 7 a.m. At least the loan sharks have the decency to wait until midday after your first three cups of coffee kick in. (Aside: does anyone seriously respond to those debt messages? I think that if you take your credit advice from a text message then you deserve whatever identity theft that comes your way.)

Anyway, one Knesset aide, Lior Finkel decided to fight back. After politely trying to get herself removed from the text list, she actually followed the message's instructions -- she put on tefillin and then photographed herself in it and sent it back to the Light proselytes. She has not been disturbed since. Outreach thwarted! Huzzah! Let us all put on tefillin and take photos of ourselves.

Wish she had done this in Williamsburg

2011-06-10T18:36:00.003-04:00

Yesterday a woman was reported (and photographed) walking around the Bowery topless, trying to beat the heat. No farmer's tan for her! Line free all the way.

Though she appears to be speaking to cops in this photo published over at the Village Voice, it appears that this is actually not a crime. I never really thought about this much (I've actively tried to repress the old Russian women I saw remove their swimsuit straps at Brighton Beach when I was a kid) but for some reason I thought it was minorly illegal. But as the Voice demonstrates, women are allowed to go topless just as men can. Yay for equal opportunity nipple exposure and sunburns!

More power to you, Topless Woman. If you are willing to take the subway to Brooklyn, might I suggest you visit the Satmar section of Williamsburg? I know it's not nice but I do really enjoy watching the Satmar get riled up over stupid things, such as hair salons opening in their neighborhood. And Topless Woman, you won't have to worry about being photographed -- you will just be photoshopped out.

Gym Anxiety

2011-06-08T12:43:00.004-04:00

May 31 was the final day of my gym membership and since I've let it elapse, I've noticed a huge decrease in my anxiety levels. (Granted, they remain a bit inflated, higher than the national average because I'm still me.) I can walk down Fulton in Brooklyn, trekking past my former gym to the subway without guilt. Without a membership, the gym has transformed into just another storefront. I don't have to go inside.

I signed up for Crunch back in December via Groupon and upon the recommendation of my physical therapist. I was undergoing treatment for spine and rib issues and wasn't allowed to dance. She recognized that movement is essential to my psychic well-being and thought I should join a gym. As it turned out, I had purchased a Groupon for Crunch months earlier, anticipating the few weeks between Christmas and New Year's when breaking practices, which are housed in schools and community centers, go on hiatus for the holidays. I figured I'd use it to keep in shape during that small bit of downtime.

Obviously my dance hiatus stood to be longer than a few weeks and I activated the Groupon sooner than I had originally planned and then signed up for a full membership. At first I was happy to be a gym member again. It had been at least 5 years since I last belonged to one and I was thrilled at the idea that I could work out anytime I wanted to.

One of the frustrating things about breaking practices is that there are so few of them and they happen at specific times. They're mostly in the evenings when you might have other social commitments. (For that reason, I tried to avoid those at all costs, making dating very difficult.) Also, every once in awhile work keeps you late and you can't get to the session in time.

Those missed days of practice start to add up and I often wished I could just walk into the gym whenever I missed a dance session. Of course, what kept me from joining was the expense. How could I justify spending 75 bucks a month when I was able stay active for free most of the time?

Then came the injuries and the winter that dumped several feet of snow on NYC. Making up for missed practices with a run or bike ride was not possible in the inclement weather. The gym was the only way to go.

Unfortunately, the gym quickly went from being exciting to a burden because in theory, I could work out anytime. This meant that days I decided to skip for whatever reason -- whether I had made it to a dance practice earlier in the day or was simply too tired and sore from the previous day's workout -- induced fearful levels of guilt and nervous calculations about just how much money I was losing. And forget runs outside -- if I was going to run anywhere, it was going to be on the treadmill that I paid for, staring at my sweaty visage in the mirror as episodes of Jersey Shore played, muted on the television above my head.

Despite my financial arithmetic, I mostly avoided going to the gym. I've always been active but never simply for the sake of burning calories. In order for me to have a sustained interest in an activity, I must be learning something new. Dance offers ample opportunities for this. Running gives me the chance to improve my time and allows me to imagine the possibility of entering races (which I have never done). Alas, spinning class at the gym does not provide the same type of learning opportunities -- pedaling on a stationary bike in a dimly lit room with pounding house music doesn't exactly seem exportable to city streets and country roads. The mere fact that I had paid for the right to take these sort of classes was insufficient motivation to get me into the saddle. But not going still inspired a ton of guilt.

What I realized was despite being occasionally frustrated by both dance practice schedules and the weather, not being able to work out all of the time was actually a blessing for me. Having spent the majority of college going to the gym (when I wasn't doing all of my reading and writing flash cards for class -- yes, I was that kind of student), I needed my workout activities limited to specific times and places. If I can work out all of the time, I will or feel terrible about not.

Ironically enough, I've worked out more since giving up my access to Crunch. All those outdoor runs I contemplated but couldn't bring myself to do while I was a gym member? Well now I simply go out and hit the pavement. Of course, I realize that the awful weather is coming and with it, a ton of excuses to not exercise. But that's okay -- since I'm mentally unable to let myself off of the hook, I need a little help from weather and circumstance every once in awhile.

Who Wears Short Shorts?

2011-06-06T20:28:00.004-04:00

So one of the dancers auditioning for So You Think You Can Dance, who also happens to be a student at BYU, was called into the college office for counseling after he appeared on television during his audition wearing nothing but dancer shorts.

This report amuses me on several fronts. First of all, I'm glad to see a man being called out for immodesty. Usually it's just the ladies. It seems that BYU is at least egalitarian in this way. Better than the the Orthodox Jewish community, which has strict rules for women and loose guidelines for the men that are rather weakly enforced. Also, this student got into trouble after the school officials were told about the audition and matter after the fact. How often in the Jewish community have rabbis reacted with outrage to things they weren't there to witness, that they simply heard about? I also find the hypocrisy most agreeable. The student notes that the swim team wears just as much as much (or as little) in photos. And finally, there's the lack of context. I personally think dancer shorts are okay for dance but perhaps not appropriate for class, just as Speedos are okay at the pool. (Wait, those are never okay.) But apparently the Mormons subscribe to a similar context free view of modesty that the frum do -- namely, what's inappropriate in one situation is wrong for all. Just as you wouldn't wear a bra and underwear to the grocery store, you wouldn't wear a swimsuit to the beach. Or dancer shorts to a dance audition. Or so the context free logic goes.

Tikkun Leil Breaking

2011-06-06T16:32:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow night at the JCC on the Upper West Side of Manhattan (76th and Amsterdam), I will be teaching an intro to breaking class at 1:45 a.m. for the Stay the Night/Tikkun Leil Shavuot Program.

You might be wondering -- what does breaking have to do with Shavuot, Torah and Judaism? Nothing. I can make jokes about how breaking, since it is performed in a cypher, can be called "The Other Circle Dance." (Cue the groaning.) But really that's quite a stretch. Simply defined, "Breaking a form of African American competitive dance that developed in New York in the 1970's, and is also sometimes known as 'breakdancing.'" (This skeletal explanation was provided by one of the preeminent scholars of hip hop.) Jew's got nothing to do with it.

The reason I'm teaching this class (which will be the first breaking session I've ever led so I'm all kinds of nervous) is because I was asked to. Thankfully the fine folks at the JCC didn't ask me to contrive a way to connect it Judaism cause my head would've exploded from the effort.

Though the dance doesn't have any obvious Jewish connections, I still hope you guys can stay awake long enough to come out. Have some cheesecake (free at the JCC) but make sure you eat it at least an hour before dancing. You don't want to break with a stomach full of cheesecake. Trust me.

Frum Fashion Copy

2011-06-05T11:00:00.005-04:00

Last week, Stylish, a new ultra-Orthodox fashion magazine was announced. While some of the clothing from this new magazine looks perfectly nice, fashionable even. yesterday I was reminded what more middlebrow clothing advertising in the frum community actually looks like.

Photo provided by Gila G.

It's hard to pinpoint what I like best about this ad that appeared in the Torah Times. Is it the name of the business, The Robe Spot? (Seriously, could this be a suitable name for a store anywhere outside the frum world?) Or that somewhere out there there is still a sizable market for nightgowns and that it's preferable to have said sleepwear imported rather than homegrown?

This ad also leaves me with so many questions. For instance, "Skirts, like Biz" -- do the proprietors mean that one of the brands they carry is the one I wrote about for the denim slideshow? (And it's spelled "Bis" not "Biz." I definitely feel like there is a LOL Cats potential with that one.) Or that you can find skirts similar to the Bis variety, as in knockoffs? And what do "Campers Nightgowns" look like? I keep thinking of camper vans.

Big Jew(cy)

2011-06-03T16:28:00.004-04:00

So Jewcy has named me to their Big Jewcy list for 2011 for my contributions to poking fun at Orthodoxy through my writing and being an overall weirdo. (It's the whole obsessed with gymnastics/breaking thing that really piques folks' curiosity).

Anyway, I'm honored to be included on the list alongside other luminaries such as Eli Valley, a comic artist who you might remember for causing the earthquake in Haiti due to his anti-kiruv (outreach) strip he wrote for the Forward. (Sorry for bringing this up again Eli but it's really some of your best work.)I guess this means big things for me. I wonder what natural disaster I will cause. Stay tuned.

Have a looksie at my interview with the wonderful Margarita Korol and check my awesome headshot/shidduch photo. Doesn't that girl look like she should be married already?

Swimming in Skirts

2011-06-01T10:22:00.004-04:00

I've just started researching a story for Tablet that had me strolling camp memory lane, which is when I came across this promotional video produced by Camp Sternberg, my summer home for nine years as a kid.

Camp Sternberg from The SHMA Camps on Vimeo.

Most of this speaks (hilariously) for itself. But even if I've moved very far away from the young girl/woman who LOVED going there every summer, I must admit that it did make me smile at moments. Though I was indoctrinated by the staff and this place is largely responsible for my rightward swing during high school, I really did have a wonderful time going there. (And Rabbi Greenwald has gotten so old! What does this say about me?)

But before I got too sentimental watching the video, my friend dug up a forum discussion related to Camp Sternberg, which reminded me about the whole knee socks vs. short socks debate. I was a short socks kid who wished she could be a knee socks girl. Alas, I did not have it in me, especially during the summer.

And apparently there was a song that no one told me about:

Verse #1: If you wear knee socks, badadadump,
Or you wear bobby socks, badadadump,
I love you cuz you are a Jew, badidadadump.

Verse #2: If you have straight hair, badadadump,
Or curly, frizzy hair, badadadump,
I love 'cuz you are a Jew, badidadadump.

Chorus: I love ya; I love ya;
'Cuz you're a Jew-a, a Jew-a, a Jew-a.
I love youuuu, 'cuz you're a Jew.
I may not like the things you do,
but I love you, 'cuz you're a Jew, badidadadump.

Where can the Pacific Northwest be found in New York?

2011-05-26T15:14:00.003-04:00

Answer: Brooklyn

About a year ago, I wrote about how annoying some of the denizens of Brooklyn can be and politely suggested that were turning the borough into the "Pacific Northwest cities they originally came from." (By the way, the response to this suggestion was not at all polite but it was definitely fun to read.)

Well in the Battle of the Borough Posters between Manhattan and Brooklyn (instigated by the latter, more pugnacious of the two), the Pacific Northwest jibe is restated. Check out the duel below.

Photo from Gothamist

Frankly I'm disappointed in Brooklyn. Don't the majority of New York writers live here these days and yet the jibe reads like a schoolyard taunt by a six year old kid. The hands down winner is Manhattan for the use of "twee."

The Shidduch Crisis Solved?

2011-05-25T10:29:00.005-04:00

As I have noted in a previous post, most of the response to my denim skirt slideshow has been very positive and fun for me to read. And even some of the negative response has been rather humorous. Like this post I came across yesterday on Beyond BT called, "The Ascent to Haute Boro Park." This piece was written as an open letter to the wonderful Life and Religion editor at Tablet, Ellen Umansky in response to my own item. (Which the author failed to link to, perhaps out of a desire to keep my pernicious influence away from their heimishe readers.) Of course, I will link to Anxious Ima's post because I want you to be able to read the silliness for yourself. This is how it begins:

Dear Ms.Umansky,

If you can run an entire piece plus a slide show on Dvora Meyer’s evolution (devolution?) from jeanskirt wearing into jeans, than I’d like to propose the opposite side.

Of course, Anxious Ima doesn't know how to write a proper pitch letter, doesn't suggest how she would tell her story of skirt wearing, or why it would be interesting to Tablet readers.

She then offers me some sage advice that I really rather like:

Maybe this part of the story will be of interest to Meyers. Fed up with the prospects of a permanently single life–that’s how it seemed to be heading, Prince Charming was off my radar, I headed off to Israel in hopes of finding my bashert. And of course, I ditched my pants, You can’t show up at a shadchan’s office in khaki’s.

So that's why I'm single -- pants. It makes sense if you think about it. Pants signal unavailability to men because they're so much harder to fiddle around with. Skirts are simpler. And you know what they say -- the longer the skirt, the faster it goes up. Maybe I will switch back to skirts. And perhaps this advice will end the so-called marriage crisis in the Jewish world. Ladies, just don skirts. It's like hanging a "OPEN" placard round your neck, letting the fellas know you're ready and waiting...for a ring. (Or perhaps she was advising me to move to Israel where I can have my veritable pick of Jewish men. I've given that some thought in the past but decided that the experience would be much like watching cable television -- 200 channels and still, there's nothing on.)

Anxious Ima (and why so anxious -- is your daughter 22 and unmarried?) signs off with a plea to the Powers That Be over at Tablet to "show fealty to authentic Jewish culture." (Emphasis mine.) First of all, I want to point out that they have given space to the Orthodox viewpoint in the past, even allowing Avi Shafran of the Agudah to write an op-ed about the poor, oppressed, haredi Jews. And don't the "authentic" Jews have publications in which to read their viewpoints parroted back at them? What about The Jewish Press (or as my late zaidie jokingly called it -- The Jewish Mess)? Mishpachah? When was the last time the "fake" Jews got to have their say in those publications?

Maybe I should start pitching them and see if they'll take my next story about a Jewish girl gone wrong.

The History of the Scrunchie

2011-05-23T09:02:00.005-04:00

On this blog, I've noted that gymnastics isn't the most highbrow and sophisticated of sports, especially when it comes to fashion. At the core of the sport's fashion backwards sensibility is the scrunchie, which is used by the majority of gymnasts to hold their hair of their faces. Frequently, the scrunchie is made to match the leotard a little too perfectly.

Since we (former) gymnasts and fans hold the scrunchie in the highest esteem, we should all watch "Interpreting the Scrunchie," a discussion of the hair item brought to us by DIS Magazine. The speaker, David Riley takes on a hilarious trip down scrunchie memory lane from the fall of Berlin Wall to Tiffany and Heathers to Sex and the City. He even noted that "there is a definite connection between the scrunchie and sports dominated by females. Gymnastics, figure skating, horseback riding. These are sports that couple intense athleticism with curious aesthetics. There is a dissonance between the athleticism, precision and training required and the naive lack of artistry, the chintziness of the costumes." (Check 5:34 in Part 3 to see if you can guess who the gymnast pictured is.)

Prepare to have your mind blown.

In Part 3, the discussion actually focuses on gymnastics. Riley even includes video of Shannon Miller's 1992 all around vault and asks, "What other hair accessory can do that?"

Somebody Should Look Into This Sport

2011-05-17T17:42:00.003-04:00

This is a clip from a recently aired episode of Family Guy in which Peter recalls his attempt to become an Olympic gymnast. (Shout out to the awesome posters over at the IG Message Board for posting the link.)

Of course, Peter is using the old vault, which would make sense since it stands to reason he made his run before 2001, but why is he vaulting on a horizontally laid vault when the men used a vertical apparatus? On a related note: am I reading too much into the one of the Family Guy's throwaway clips?

Response to Skirt Shorts

2011-05-16T00:13:00.005-04:00

I'll admit that I have been paying attention to the response to my recent slideshow at Tablet and for the most part, it has been extremely positive, which is very gratifying. But obviously, not everyone feels warmly about the slideshow and my own personal religious arc. The article was reposted at A Mother In Israel, which is a site I have never heard of before, and this was the first among the comments:

I went to college with Dvora. I find that sometimes she is really sensational. I still remember when I was a sophmore and she was a freshman she would camp out in my dorm room in horror when her roomate had her boyfriend spend the night. She’s drifted very far from that tmimut.

The commenter wrote under I assume are her initials and based off of the details she provided about our interaction, I am pretty sure I know who it is. I have nothing but good things to say about her. She was very kind to me during my first year at Penn, which was a very difficult one for me.

What she mentions is true. During the first semester of my freshman year, I lived with a girl I euphemistically called, "The Evil Bitch Monster of Death," (anyone get the reference?) because she locked me out of the room when I went to the bathroom, unplugged my fridge when I went away for the weekend so all my food spoiled and had sex while I was in the room without informing me first. (I should note that according to all of my hall mates, she also did a prodigious amount of drugs, and not marijuana.) So while I was probably more traumatized by this situation than your average college freshman since I had just arrived from a very sheltered environment at an all girls school, I would think that present day me would also find this troubling.

Also, her characterization of me being "sensational" is probably also true. Anyone who has read this blog or met me would probably agree. I am certainly not mild-mannered. As for my former tmimut -- I am inclined to disagree with the commenter. I mean, I was "innocent" as she stated but we all lose that, whether or not we stay Orthodox. And I'm glad that I'm no longer so easily shocked by what I quickly learned is the way things are.

Also, I don't look back so fondly on this innocence. In fact, I view that "tmimut" as naivete. Not just about the world and sex but also about myself. I had just arrived at college and was only starting to explore who I was and what I believe in. After the first year of school, I no longer had much meaningful contact with the commenter. As I settled in, I realized that I didn't have as much common ground with her and her chevra. Though we both came from the same communities with similar standards, I was beginning to realize that I didn't want to stay in that world indefinitely. Whereas many Orthodox students at Penn come there with the express desire to excel academically but not be changed religiously by campus life, I was beginning to realize that I wanted the opposite. I wanted to be changed by new ideas and experiences. By the end of the second semester, I had found a group of friends that I remained close with until the end of college. These friends had a more open, liberal attitude when it came to halacha and the secular world.

As I moved further away from Orthodoxy and tzniut, I've gotten happier. Not because Orthodoxy is inherently bad or modesty is evil, but they were never the right fit for me. A couple of commenters on Tablet's site noted that they are more comfortable in more conservative style clothing, which is perfectly acceptable. As long as you are honoring your own impulses and not simply listening to an interpretation of Jewish law that you don't entirely believe in then I have no problem with people who adopt a more modest form of dress. This was not the case for me. After I got over the initial shock of wearing jeans or tank tops, I realized just how comfortable I felt in this new attire, how much more like myself. I felt more at home in this type of clothing than I ever did in long skirts. I finally came to accept that I wasn't blessed with the modesty gene. It took a lot of trial and error to learn those sort of things about myself.

So perhaps, as the commenter noted, I have lost my tmimut. Good riddance, I say. I much prefer self-knowledge.

Down the YouTube Rabbit Hole

2011-05-15T13:45:00.003-04:00

Via Chart Porn

Back in December, I saw this hilarious comic entitled, "The Bermuda Triangle of Productivity," which seeks to compare the notorious geographic region where planes and ships have disappeared to the three websites where most of our productive hours have been sunk. Too true, I thought, except for the Twitter part. Personally, I can't seem to get into Twitter. I have an account that I rarely check. I'm always surprised to get an email announcing a new follower. Why, I wonder. I never update.

If I could, I would replace the Twitter corner of the triangle with YouTube. When I log onto YouTube to watch one video, I end up staying for several more due to the cursed "related videos" feature. I call this phenomenon "Falling Down the YouTube Gymnastics Rabbit Hole."

For instance, I'll start with Brittani McCullough's fabulous and fierce floor routine from the 2010 NCAA floor finals:

And then follow it up with Vanessa Zamarripa's equally sassy floor routine from the same competition:

Which brings me to her performances at the 2010 Cover Girl Classic:

From there it's a hop, skip and jump to her routines at Nationals, and before I know it, I've watched all -- not just Zamarripa's -- of the 2010 National Championship routines, all of which I have previously seen.

And that's how you fall down the YouTube Gymnastics Rabbit Hole. I wonder if aficionados of other sports and activities also lose many hours of their lives stumbling this way through YouTube.

Shlooby Kitten Always Gets It Right

2011-05-13T15:13:00.003-04:00

Anna over at Shlooby Kitten really knows how to reduce dating, sex and relationships to hilarious statements, which she then pairs with the face of a cat. Don't ask me why but this really works. I don't think I would accept the wisdom posted below if it were not for the "smiling" cat. Maybe the animal softens the truth-blow.

Source: Shlooby Kitten

(How do I learn how to do this? I have many pithy sound bites that should be paired with adorable animals. Surely this cannot be so difficult.)

I'm Too Sexy For My Skirts

2011-05-13T13:31:00.005-04:00

For some reason, Blogger removed my post from yesterday about my jean skirt slideshow for reasons that are unclear. Did I somehow offend my Blogger and Google overlords? Did Jeffrey Wiesenfeld accuse me of being anti-Semitic and demand the post's removal?

Anyway, here's a brief repost from yesterday so those of you who haven't seen the embarrassing photos of me modeling skirts get a chance to view them. (I hope they don't give you nightmares.) As I previously wrote, my good friend Holly came with me to Midwood to find some of the skirts since approximately half of the ones that appear in the slideshow are from my original collection.

Here are the hilarious results of the shopping excursion. (The hat was worn for reasons of warmth, not religiosity. I do realize that paired with the jean skirts, it does make me look married.)

Sexy

Sexier

Sexiest